Side gigs have always intrigued me. They represent another side of you, a side which may not be immediately apparent to others. An opportunity to break away from the person you are for 40+ hours each week.
Don’t get me wrong. My 9 to 5 is great (most of the time anyway!) but it does not completely fulfill my desire to contribute. Sometimes we have a tendency to be so completely wrapped up into our identity at work that we forget we are actually so much more. I believe that everyone has been given a creative gift of some sort and whether that is painting, crafting, or singing, there are opportunities everywhere to turn your creativity into a side gig. Although there are arguably dozens of reasons why you need to pursue a creative side gig, this post outlines my top 3.
1. Creative side hustles make you a more well-rounded person. Sure. You may be great at accounting, being a nurse, or writing contracts. But what about that tiny voice inside reminding you that you used to be really great at ____ (you fill in the blank here with whatever creative activity applies to you)? Remember the feeling you got when you pursued that activity? And how about the extra skills which came along with it? Wouldn’t it be great to hone in those skills again? Along with creativity comes a host of important aptitudes such as ingenuity, problem-solving, and perseverance which may actually benefit you during your work day.
Despite my current day job as a nurse practitioner, my first course of study was actually a liberal arts degree in music. People often give me funny looks when I tell them my background because it seems worlds apart from where I am today however I have always valued the lessons taken from my first degree. Music taught me to never give up on something you think about every day because it adds purpose and value to your life.
Through the course of this degree, I also learned that you get out of life what you put into it. If you work dilligently and with focus, you will see positive results. Lastly, when gauging progress, you can only make comparisons to yourself. Everyone has been given completely different skills sets but only you can sift through to figure out how to optimize your individual gifts. Comparison to others is useless and only serves to discourage you from your individual progress. These are incredibly valuable lessons which are beneficial regardless of the path I ultimately chose.
2. Doing something completely different pushes you outside your comfort zone and inspires growth. When was the last time you said “goodbye” to your comfort zone? Was it last week when you took a cooking class? Last summer when you signed up to run your first half marathon? Or maybe it was ten years ago when you took a yoga class?
You will never make progress or grow as a person by continuing to do the same old thing day in and day out. Growth requires challenge of some sort. You have to be vulnerable, put yourself out there, and possibly even experience failure to become a new and better version of yourself. Even if you didn’t feel exhilerated or even moderately intrigued by the activity, at least you tried it and perhaps realized that it actually wasn’t your jam. Congratulations … You are now that much closer to finding your actual creative outlet!
3. Who doesn’t love extra income? There are opportunities everywhere to collect a paycheck for everything from knitting cute baby outfits to being the bassist in a band and playing local bars every Friday night. Maybe you’re an amazing violinist and also excel at teaching others. Check into offering violin lessons to others who want to learn. People out there are looking for your specific type of creativity and are willing to shell out for it. Don’t keep them in suspense any longer!
I hope this post has gotten you thinking about the possibilities out there. Maybe you already have a creative pursuit in mind or maybe you still have no idea what that would even entail. Either way, take a few moments to clarify what your next action step toward pursuing creativity would involve. Granted, my time is valuable as it is divided among being a wife, mom of three, and working full-time, however freelancing as a pianist and organist makes it so much more fulfilling and meaningful. It’s truly the icing on top of the cake!
Do you have a creative side gig? If so, I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!
“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” -Zen Shin
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It was Friday night. My hubby and I were doing our typical but very sophisticated Friday night thing. I was attired in the very latest of fall fashions with hair and make-up perfectly done while my husband was similarly decked out. Minus the hair and make-up, of course. We were headed to one of our favorite top-notch hang-outs downtown for wine and live music but had just enough time to stop and snap a pic commemorating yet another highly successful date night.
Just kidding. We were actually lounging on the couch, he attired in athletic shorts and I in my favorite pajamas which unfortunately happen to have a gigantic hole in the crotch. Some type of sports ball was playing in the background and he turned to show me a Facebook pic. A married couple we know was doing exactly what I described in the first paragraph and the thoughts started rolling through my mind.
“They always look so happy. I bet they never bicker about household chores or the kids. And they are always dressed like they walked out of a fashion magazine shoot. We’ll never be as happy or as successful as they are.”
Social media is a double-edged sword. One side facilitates communication with friends and family. But the other side displays everyone else’s highlights and greatest accomplishments for all to see. And I am as excited as the next person to see professional family photos, job promotions, and brand new baby photos but sometimes my mind goes to a dark place of comparison.
Suddenly everything that I’m doing (or not doing) somehow seems inferior and everybody else is having all the fun. Everyone else is prettier or more successful or has their lives way more put together than I do. Surely no one else forgets school picture day. No one else can possibly forget parent teacher conferences or to send a snack for the kindergarten class. Those pictures of one isolated moment don’t only reflect perfection in that moment but also in all areas of life.
Inevitably this line of thinking then brings me to comparison and ultimately, scarcity. As if there are only limited amounts of beauty, organization, or love in the world and I am definitely missing out because my Facebook feed doesn’t highlight lovely photoshopped versions of myself and my family doing artsy, sophisticated hobbies. There cannot possibly be enough love or beauty to go around for everyone and especially not for someone who has no idea how to capture a decent selfie.
Have you ever caught yourself in this same trap of negativity? It starts innocently enough with five minutes of scrolling here and then ten there. Suddenly, you realize an hour has gone by and you’re feeling anxious and depressed with no idea why.
In my own life, I’ve reached the conclusion that comparison sucks the joy right out of living. Not only that but thoughts that resources such as success or admiration or even hard work are limited and only bestowed upon a very select few people are closely tied with thoughts of comparison. The entire package is a devastating blow to positive progress in your life if you’re not aware of the insidious nature of these thoughts or how they’re tied together.
Comparison leads directly into scarcity because the very nature of competition implies multiple people going after the same thing. Only one person goes home with the trophy. We are all driven by competition to various degrees and therefore it is a natural progression of our minds to see other people’s success and almost subconsciously reach the conclusion that we will never attain that level of success because that person already went home with that trophy. There isn’t room on the Olympic podium of life for more than one person to have success in a particular aspect of life.
But the truth lies in the fact that there is no finite amount of success, love, beauty, or talent in the world. These qualities are out there in such abundant amounts that they can never be used up. Furthermore, one person’s beauty in no way diminishes your own beauty. We have all been given a specific set of interests, talents, and abilities to share with the world. The only fair and valid competition is that which exists between the person we are right now and the person we either used to be or the person we are evolving into.
Just as there are infinite amounts of the incredible qualities which make life worth living, so too is the truth that you are on a completely different journey than anyone else. No one on this earth has had the exact same life experiences, setbacks, influences, or education that you have. No one else in the world is faced with the same questions and decisions about which path to choose. You are unique and beautiful and deserve to free yourself from the self-defeating mindsets of comparison and scarcity.
Challenge yourself to grow in the areas which are important to you and minimize comparison and scarcity by taking action on the 4 steps listed below:
Spend time reflecting upon where you have been, where you are now, and where you want to go
Set goals which are measureable and have clear action steps
Periodically check your progress toward those goals
Celebrate your successes and learn from your mistakes
Having a clear sense of your own goals, priorities, and successes makes celebrating the accomplishments of others easier because you have outlined a road map for your own life. You know where you’re going and how far you’ve come. You embrace celebrating your own achievements as well as the knowledge which comes from missteps. It’s incredibly easy to be sucked down the rabbit hole of comparison and suddenly lose focus of all your own progress but you have something to share with the world and although it may be vastly different than what others are doing, it has value. Don’t let your progress be stalled by competition and scarcity.
Only by celebrating your achievements and maintaining a mindset of abundance can you truly ward off the trail of negativity which can be precipitated by mindless scrolling. Start being mindful of how you feel when spending time on social media and take steps to alter these behaviors if you find it puts you in a negative space. As the saying goes, “Ain’t no one got time for that.”
If you find yourself struggling with the flip side of comparison, which is fear of what others think of you, check out my previous post about freeing yourself from the opinions of others. It can be a tough mindset to change but absolutely crucial for a happier and more joyful life. And if this post hit home for you and you’re ready to take an even deeper dive into mindset, click the image below for more information on one of my favorite inspirational books by down to earth, tell it how it is Rachel Hollis.
Never forget that you have value in simply who you are as a person regardless of your profession, accomplishments, or talents. You are amazing!
I’d love to hear about the impact this post had on your mindset! Leave a comment below with new revelations or ways you plan to implement this into your daily life.
This post may contain affiliate links, which means we may receive a commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. Please see our full disclosure for further information.
Have you ever been initially intrigued with an idea only to find out that it actually didn’t fit into your life as advertised? One example from my own life is the Bacon Express. I dislike cooking bacon and therefore never make it but my husband is obsessed with it. To clarify … he is obsessed with the eating part, not the cooking part.
This past summer we were walking through a store when my husband spotted the Bacon Express, a device which advertised the cooking of bacon as mere child’s play. Since it was on clearance, we took the plunge and brought it home. We used the Bacon Express a couple of times before we became disenchanted with this product advertised to make our lives easier.
Our first issue was how long it took to cook an entire package of bacon. The device was so small that you could only fit about 5 pieces on at a time, a highly inefficient feature when trying to cook for a family of 5. Our second issue related to its cleaning. One had to practically dissemble the entire device to clean it, which wasn’t necessarily the issue. The challenge arose when I realized that I clearly lacked the engineering degree required to re-assemble this thing. Highly disappointing.
A similar experience occurred when I became interested in living with intention. The idea is that you essentially take a long, hard look at your life, figure out your values, and re-align your activities based upon those values. Intentional living captivated me because it facilitates an alternative goal setting method and I’m a sucker for anything and everything related to goals. Once I became aware of the concept, I set out to uncover how I might incorporate living with intention into my own life.
Although some of the advice I found was helpful, some of it was clearly not adapted for a busy working mom of three kiddos. Ideally, I would love all the time in the world to sit and brainstorm about my values and how to adapt my activities to reflect said values. But let’s be real. I work 40+ hours a week and have primary responsibility of the housework. Quiet reflection time is almost non-existent in my world.
Becoming a mom comes with a whole package of things no one really wants to do but nonetheless, must be done anyway. Who really wants months of sleepless nights, loads upon loads of more dirty laundry than a small army could ever produce, or hours of whining and crying from a small being with so many of your own best and worst traits? No one wants that.
And yet, we endure these unpleasantries because any negatives are vastly outweighed by the gift of caring for and raising our babies. It’s true that we sacrifice so much but they also give abuntantly in return. This is the struggle in balancing all that comes with motherhood with pursuing your own goals and this is the spirit in which I present my advice to other busy moms looking to live with intention.
I know you also have goals. Whether they are personal, relational, or professional, goals inspire growth and come in all shapes and sizes. Spend actual quality time with your kids. Plan weekly date nights with your husband. Drink water. Read a book instead of watching Netflix. Get more sleep at night. Take up a new hobby. Try a cycling class. Cook dinner instead of eating out. Any one of these activities has the potential to improve your life but if you’re anything like me, the days fly by and keeping up with everything you’re already doing feels impossible. How can you possibly add one more goal, no matter how small, to your already packed schedule?
1) Take a careful look at what you’re already doing right now. If you are currently raising little ones, making sudden, sweeping changes to your lifestyle is most likely not feasible. But you can find tiny pockets of time here and there to spark larger change. Is there anything on your daily schedule which isn’t serving you? Although you may not be thrilled with your job right now, what small steps can you take to make an alternate one a reality? Or maybe you find yourself with more screen time than you care to admit. Do you feel energized and engaged after spending all that time interacting on social media? Or could you find a more productive use for your time?
Some parts of your daily routine may not necessarily be your first choice in how your time is spent but are important to the stage of life you are in. This is one of the ones I struggle with because I have all these goals and a constant feeling that there is never enough time in the day. Meanwhile, my time is sucked up by housework, driving kids to and from various activities, and grocery shopping. Hardly inspirational.
But then I remind myself that this is a season of life. Seasons don’t last forever and although they are very necessary aspects of raising kids, there are always ways to free up time here and there. Remember … you’re looking for tiny pockets of time and not hours upon hours. Grocery pick-up apps are everywhere now and are a complete timesaver! There are cleaning services out there which will come and clean your house while you’re at work. Consider carpooling with other trusted parents to and from sports and other activities.
2) Plan ahead and budget your free time carefully. You may only get a few minutes of quiet time here and there but plan this out in advance so you know exactly what you should be doing with that time. In my own life, I have found that a paper planner is the best way to stay on track with my goals. I searched high and low to find the planner that I currently have and absolutely love it because it provides space for monthly goal planning including the ability to highlight my top priority for that month. Each day of the week has space to write a daily goal as well and I use this to come up with daily motivational messages for myself.
Intention always precedes accomplishment. Think about it. When was the last time you accidentally cleaned the bathroom? Or ran 3 miles? What about that time you just kinda sorta earned a degree. Or how about the time you unintentionally ended up at the movies with your hubby on a Saturday afternoon? Ok, maybe that one could actually be unintentional but the desire to strengthen your relationship through quality time together is most definitely intentional. Accomplishing a goal, no matter how small, must always start with the intention to do so and putting it down in black and white makes prioritization much easier. Click the picture below to check out the planner which smoothly incorporates intention into your already crazy schedule!
3) Seek accountability in becoming more intentional about your goal. About a year ago, I decided that I wanted to become better about learning new piano repertoire. My practice habits in the past were terrible and I had never been great about consistent practice. It was always hours of sporadic practice here and there which never amounted to true progress.
I knew that if I wanted to improve, I would need accountability so I began searching for ways to make myself accountable. It was then that I stumbled upon an app which logged your practice time and counted up consecutive days of practice for you. This app changed my practice habits and I became obsessed with daily practice because I loved seeing the consecutive day count go up. Even if I only had 5 minutes a day, it didn’t matter because it still counted.
Find accountability for yourself in accomplishing your goal. Accountability will keep you honest and will inspire you to take action even on those long days when the work never seems to end and everybody wants more from you than you have to give. It may be a tracking app, a friend, or your spouse but find whatever makes the most sense for what motivates you and get moving on putting this into place
I get it. Change, even if it’s the best possible change, is hard. But what about that nagging voice inside reminding you of your goal to run the half marathon this fall? Or the one reminding you about how accomplished you feel after making a homemade meal for your family? What about that stack of personal development books you ordered last fall but never got around to reading? And the memories of those date nights in your pre-kid days? Wouldn’t it be amazing to bring that magic back again?
Living with intention is a powerful technique to hone into what matters to you and then going after it with everything you have inside. Without intention, a goal is simply a wish. A pipe dream which will never come to fruition. It is a road map for previously uncharted territory. When you lack intention, you are dragged in a million different directions and are unsure whether any of them are what you actually want. I sincerely hope that these 3 actionable tips for incorporating intention into your daily living are helpful and inspire you to chase after your goals even as you chase after your babies!
This post may contain affiliate links, which means we may receive a commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. Please see our full disclosure for further information.
Pianos are my jam! I am a total piano nerd and there’s nothing that excites me more than reading about pianos, looking at pianos, and playing pianos. Although I’m a sucker for any music involving the instrument, my interest lies especially in the classical piano repertoire.
I am so passionate about bringing these pieces to life and pianos in general that I am devoting a section of Only Getting Better to this very topic. You can expect regular posts about a variety of piano-related subjects and updates on what I’ve been working on.
The very first piece I’d like to introduce you to is by my all-time favorite composer, Sergei Rachmaninoff. The piece is Elegie in Eb Minor, Op. 3 No. 1. An elegie is a somber piece often considered to be a lament for either a tragic event or a death. Rachmaninoff composed the Elegie in Eb Minor in 1892 at the age of 19 and it is one of five pieces published under Opus 3, another of which being his infamous Prelude in C# Minor.
Rachmaninoff is known for keeping his life extremely private and in the biography Sergei Rachmaninoff: A Lifetime in Music written by Sergei Bertensson and Jay Leyda, a quote by his daughter sums this up: “I remember well how he once said to someone in my presence that words are useless for such a purpose – that all he felt and experienced was told far better, more clearly and truthfully in his compositions, and also found expression in his playing.” The Elegie is certainly a hauntingly beautiful expression of intense emotion. Click the link below and I hope you enjoy my performance of one of my favorite pieces within the piano repertoire!
Decisions. You are hit with a million of them every day. Some are straightforward but others are fraught with challenge and seemingly impossible solution.
“What’s for supper tonight?”
“Which daycare will provide the best experience for my kids?”
“Can I see myself building a life with this person?”
“What do I really want to be when I grow up?”
Regardless of the question, it seems that everyone around you has an opinion about your decision. Chances are, your kids won’t be thrilled about your decision to make broccoli cheese soup and ham sandwiches for supper. Your in-laws may feel that the new daycare location is too far from their house. Although you can clearly picture a fantastic future with the person you’re dating, your sister loudly objects to basically everything about them. Every single person in your life asks how you will possibly make money with your chosen college major.
Sound familiar? Teaching your kids to expand their palate is an area of resistance that if you’ve been a parent for any length of time, I’m guessing you expected. Despite their protests, your decision to proceed with the dinner of your choice is completely unswayed. But what about your sister’s protests about your dating choices? Or the career field you choose to devote your passion, time, and energy into? How do you navigate decisions with larger ramifications without feeling like you’re settling or giving up a piece of yourself in the process?
My previous post outlined the impact opinions can have on your self-esteem but the other piece of the equation is having a solid foundation in your “why.” In other words, you need to spend time clarifying the motivation behind a particular decision. If you don’t have a grasp on the “why” behind your decisions, it is much easier to doubt yourself and give in to the endless array of opinions.
Keep in mind that not every decision is worth putting the extra time, effort, and energy into clarifying. Reserve your brain power for decisions which may cause controversy and inner doubt. The very biggest decisions which have the power to propel your life in one direction or another. Decisions such as whether to confront your fears and chase after your biggest dreams or live with the regret of not trying.
And my advice for the other decisions? Those smaller ones which truly have no bearing on who you are or your goals? Practice letting them go. For example … you’ve been working all day and are completely physically and emotionally exhausted. Dinnertime is right around the corner and the hamburger you bought at the beginning of the week has gone bad. Stopping at the grocery store at this point in your day would push you over the edge of whatever remaining sanity you have.
Takeout. Mac & cheese. Spaghettios. Whatever your go-to quick fix dinner which requires no crazy 5 pm grocery store lines entails. Unless of course you are one of those people who finds relaxation in the act of grocery shopping. Then by all means, shop away. Or maybe you revel in the opportunity to concoct a meal from a random assortment of pantry items. Whatever your jam, this type of decision will have no bearing on your life five minutes after finishing your meal so do yourself a favor and make the decision which fits best into your evening.
But when faced with a potentially life-altering decision, you’re going to need a better “why” than justifying takout after a long, hard day. You’re going to need a “why” which motivates you during the tough times and inspires confidence under even the toughest scrutiny. Figuring out your “why” up-front fills in gaps about the overall importance of this decision to you personally, useful information when faced with confrontation.
Spend time reflecting upon not only the decision but also your own core values. What are the qualities you feel are integral to making you, you? Will this decision violate your core values? Self-reflection looks different for everybody. Maybe it involves journaling. Or maybe you think better during your morning commute. I do some of my best thinking on the treadmill before anyone else in my house is even awake. Give yourself the space and time to truly dig into the pros and cons of the decision you’re facing and to determine your feelings on the subject.
Figure out the motivation behind your decision. Is your decision motivated by passion, love, and a deeper sense of purpose? Or is it motivated by insecurity, self-doubt, and a complete lack of confidence in the existence of other options? If your motivations are the former, I’m willing to bet that you’ve reached a solid decision with a strong “why.” If, on the other hand, you feel your motivations are out of self-doubt and insecurity, it’s time to re-examine the “why” to ensure it actually serves you and the person you aspire to be.
Decisions are never easy. At the end of the day, not everyone in your life will agree with your decisions. But if you have put in the time to thoughtfully consider the various aspects of the decision, your own core values, and the motivations behind them, you can rest assured that you have arrived at an airtight “why” which will serve you when the going gets tough.
You’ve been there before. Stuck between the rock of living your own truth and the hard place of the opinions of those around you. Whether those opinions belong to your spouse, your best friend, or your aunt, sometimes it can feel like you are living your life according to someone else’s rules. It can feel like you are constantly seeking someone else’s approval.
Whatever happened to those days when you did whatever you wanted to do whenever you wanted to do it? Perhaps the more important question is in regards to the days when you just couldn’t care less what anyone else thought about what you were doing. The days when you didn’t give a second thought to what you were wearing, where you were going, or what you were going to go do. No permission required to be you.
Living your best life. But then, something changed. Maybe it was an offhand comment or a sideways glance. Words or actions which caused you to pause and question yourself. What starts as only one person’s viewpoint of a tiny aspect of yourself can lead to widespread questioning within about all aspects of your life and personality.
In my own life, the opinions of others weasel their way in through a path of insecurity. A minuscule break in my self-confidence which can open a wider freeway of doubt, propelling me toward negative thinking.
The biggest manifestation of opinions leading to self-doubt in my life also involves one of my greatest passions … piano. I have loved playing piano for as long as I can remember and I spent many happy hours banging away at the keys when I was young.
I loved piano so much that when I entered college as a pre-veterinary science major, I promptly changed majors to music within the first week of class so I could study piano more intensely. Unfortunately the decision to follow my passion came with a host of unchecked negative thinking in which I began to base my self-worth upon the opinions of others.
Although I loved the piano, my practice habits were less than stellar and I dreaded my weekly lessons, in part due to my lack of preparation. I am sure that I completely exasperated my piano professor however she continued to give feedback and I began to take it personally. Each critique felt like a blow to my ego and further proof of my incompetence. Combine that with the comparisons I made between other pianists and myself and I was in a perfect storm of negativity.
At the time, I was unable to separate myself from the opinions of others and sunk into a deep pit of depression, believing that I would never be good enough to make a living playing the piano. Further adding insult to injury was the significant performance anxiety I developed soon after beginning my studies. All of this negativity stemmed from placing too much importance upon the opinions of others instead of honing in on my own truth and passion.
I had completely lost sight of my “why” amongst the flurry of constant critique inherent to studying music. The danger in putting stock into everyone else’s opinions is how insidiously it starts and the strong hold it can take on your life. It has taken years for me to process through this phase of my life and to gain perspective on the emotional cost of listening to everyone else instead of the still, small voice inside.
At the end of the day, only you can live the life you were given. Only you have the authority to make decisions which steer your life in the direction you want to go. Every time you spend energy on someone else’s opinion, you are exerting energy which could be better spent elsewhere. Valuable energy which could instead be used to push you closer toward your goals.
My call to action for you today is to think about how your life is influenced by the opinions of others. Think about what you would do if your decisions weren’t dictated by the opinions of people who aren’t living your life. Ground yourself with a solid understanding of your own “why” and use this as a compass to guide your thinking when confronted with the inevitable barrage of comments and unsolicited opionions. Stop giving everyone else the power! Stay in your own lane, run your own race, and go after that big dream!
Let’s talk for a minute about your dreams. Not the dream where you are standing in the middle of English class stark naked. Or the one where you hit it off with your celebrity crush, fall madly in love, and live happily ever after. I’m also not talking about the one where you’re being chased by a grizzly. No, I’m talking about the dream which lives in the daytime. The one you keep hidden way down deep inside where no one can see it because it’s too big and scary to admit even to yourself.
But what makes this dream so big and scary? And if you feel called toward this dream, what is stopping you from going after it?
“Ultimately we know deeply that the other side ofevery fear is freedom.” -Marilyn Ferguson
Fear. The constant questioning and self-doubt produced from unchecked fear kills more dreams than failure ever would because it keeps you from even starting. And the more you think about the obstacles ahead of you, the bigger and scarier they seem. Fear paralyzes and prevents action by clouding your vision and blinding you to the possibility that you just might succeed. But in order to succeed, you have to move through the dark shadow of fear.
Fear has a way of clouding over even the sunniest parts of life. It’s impossible to focus on anything other than the tiny dark cloud in an otherwise spotless sky which will somehow turn into a raging thunderstorm. In this place, all reason and logic flies out the window, chasing the tail of impending and certain doom. Failure is not only possible, it’s probable.
Under the dark clouds of fear and apprehension, I recently prepared to take the exam to become a nurse practitioner. The more I thought about taking the exam, the more I built it up to be a terrifying and quite frankly, an impossible task. Despite a strong track record of passing exams, the fear persevered and I somehow convinced myself that this test was different. This test was infinitely tougher than anything I had ever encountered before. Failure was inevitable.
Although fear worked its way deep inside, there was also a tiny shred of logic left inside. This small ray of hope reasoned that perhaps preparation would enhance my chances of passing. And so I began feverishly preparing for impending doom. I spent all my spare time with my head in the books, trying to cram every last piece of information in. I shut out everything around me as fear took hold and I vacillated between hopelessness and a vague sense that pass or fail, this torture would soon be over with.
Finally, the morning of the test dawned. The day of reckoning was here. Still convinced I would never pass, I walked into the test center, sat down, and waited for the first question to pop up on the screen. Five questions in I began to wonder whether this was the actual test or practice questions because shockingly, I felt like I knew the answers. A tiny ray of hope broke through my cloudy existence.
Two hundred questions later, I waited as the screen went blank. My fate had now been decided and was out of my hands. Were the hours upon hours of preparation enough? Could I have done more? Waves of fear washed over me as I waited to see which way it would go.
And then, just like that, I had my answer. I fought back tears of intense emotion as I walked out of the test center and to my car. How was this possible? I had been convinced I would fail. That this was an impossible goal. And yet … against the odds … I had passed!
The clouds parted, the sun came out, and I was finally free. Free from frenzied thoughts about the best test preparation method. Free from feeling compelled to spend every waking moment jamming information into my already overloaded brain. Free from the fear of failure that I had carried around for so long. Freedom was mine!
In this moment, I realized that on the other side of the profound fear I had carried around for so long lay freedom. I conquered fear by pushing through instead of shying away and had become stronger in the process. In the end, fear and lack of confidence in myself had been worse than the test.
In countless situations, the avoidance of fear rather than focus on the outcome stalls progress and smothers dreams. Stretching yourself beyond fear brings freedom and strength in knowing that you can and will crush whatever stands between you and your biggest, most audacious dreams.
So get out there and push through to the other side of fear. Find your own version of freedom and I promise that you will definitely not regret it!
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”
— Theodore Roosevelt
When was the last time you were scared to do something? Did you do the thing you were scared of or did the fear overwhelm you and prevent action? The definition of courage would have you believe that courage is facing some type of challenge without fear but my experience is that one cannot exist without the other. Fear and courage are two sides of the same coin.
Whether you’re considering a career change, launching a new venture, or going after a hobby you’ve sidelined for a few years, fear can quickly extinguish the flame before it even ignites. It all starts with an idea to try something entirely new and different which suddenly pops into your head one day and you decide to entertain it for a few minutes. Excitement courses through and your mind races with possibility. The “what-ifs” are positive and exhilarating!
But then the “what-ifs” take a different turn. “What if this doesn’t work?” “What if I look stupid?” “What if I fail?” Suddenly, fear takes over and what seemed entirely possible one minute is utterly impossible the next. Your mind races with negativity. All the reasons why it not only couldn’t but WOULDN’T work. And all of a sudden, you freeze with fear.
I have been in this place so many times. The place where even if the idea is positive and will push me in a fantastic new direction, I shut down and overwhelm takes over. Fear crowds out everything and the clear choice seems to be giving in.
Did you catch that? The clear “choice” implying you have a decision among several options. Fear doesn’t control you … you can flip the coin and instead choose courage. It only seems as if fear is the singular option but this is actually an illusion because courage is always there. The hidden path among the overgrown weeds. The lesser chosen option due to obscurity.
But here’s the best kept secret about courage … every time you choose courage, you get stronger and the fear gets just a bit less scary. One courageous choice leads to another and another and another and pretty soon, courage is the only option.
The next time you find yourself staring down a fear-provoking situation, carefully weigh out your options but use fear as a compass to instead find your inner courage. Refuse to allow fear to control your life and prevent personal growth. Embrace courage and hang on tight because big changes are headed your way!
Leave a comment below about the last time you chose courage over fear and the impact it had on your life!
Only Getting Better is for anyone who believes that each new day is an opportunity to become a better version of themselves. A wiser, stronger, and smarter version which stems from the core of who you are as a person. The type of person who may not have all the answers but who knows deep down inside that you were created for a deeper purpose and you are passionate about pursuing whatever “it” may be.
In short …this blog was created for you!
My own journey toward discovering deeper purpose has been filled with highs and lows … mountains and valleys … floods and droughts … but the one constant through everything is the burning desire to emerge triumphantly on the other side. To become someone who not only survives but also thrives.
This blog is a reflection of lessons I have learned along the way. Life lived authentically; sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet (and maybe even something in between) but always real.
Real as in:
Marriage is the ultimate marathon requiring far more patience and forgiveness than I ever imagined it would.
Conquering a degree while having babies is one of the hardest but also one of the most fulfilling experiences out there.
Progress is more important than perfection.
Divorce is deeply painful but not fatal.
Looking for the bright side of every situation suddenly makes the world a sunnier place.
Parenting does NOT come with a manual.
So … come along with me on the journey toward Only Getting Better. A journey of self-discovery, intention, and growth. Although I am far from having even a small fraction of life figured out, I do know that it’s all about being grateful for each new day and the opportunity to be just a little bit better. The opportunity to be thebest version possible.
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