5 Mindset Secrets to Boosting Your Piano Playing Confidence

5 Mindset Secrets to Boosting Your Piano Playing Confidence

“We like to think of our champions and idols as superheroes who were born different from us. We don’t like to think of them as relatively ordinary people who made themselves extraordinary.”

Carol Dweck

Learning to play the piano can be intimidating. After all, there are thousands of talented pianists showcasing their skills on YouTube, TikTok, and Facebook. Many of them have studied with the best teachers. And they’ve performed on the best pianos on the biggest stages around the world.

Watching these performances can lull you into thinking these pianists were simply born talented. It can seem as if you were not born with the same abilities that they were.

In thinking back to my days studying piano in college, I firmly believed that talent won out. I was convinced that some people are born more talented than others. At that time, I also thought that there was a limit to my improvements. In other words, I completely discounted my abilities to improve through hard work.

All of these beliefs chipped away at my self-confidence and significantly worsened my existing performance anxiety. Instead of watching other pianists with the intent of learning how to improve my skills, I chose to feel intimidated. Ultimately, this led to less practice time and more shaky performances than I’d like to admit.

But deep down, I love the instrument! I knew I’d never be able to walk away from it and began searching for ways to improve my piano playing confidence.

And I’m happy to report that I’ve found an inspirational resource that has revolutionized my thoughts on talent. It’s a book called Mindset written by Carol Dweck, and it’s a must-read for anyone who has ever desired improvement in their life.

This post may contain affiliate links, and as an affiliate of Amazon, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you if you purchase through a link. Please see my full disclosure for further information.

Mindset

“The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times of their lives.”

Carol Dweck

It’s funny that the most significant in my search for piano playing confidence have, for the most part, occurred away from the keyboard. But perhaps this only drives home the point that mindset matters more than I ever imagined it would.

Carol Dweck, a psychologist at Stanford University, has spent her career researching mindset. Dweck asserts that ultimately, “the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you live your life.”

She spends the remainder of the book detailing real-life examples of two opposing mindsets. One is the fixed mindset, and the other is the growth mindset.

If these are entirely new terms to you, don’t worry! Before reading the book, they were also foreign to me but are relatively intuitive when you understand the basics. Dweck describes the fixed mindset as “an urgency to prove yourself over and over.” It’s the belief that your intelligence, abilities, and personality are fixed and unable to be altered. I would refer you to the introduction for more on the fixed mindset.

On the other hand, the growth mindset is a belief that you are capable of change. Although the shift often occurs due to effort, hard work ignites a passion for learning. In the growth mindset, “failure is about not growing. Not reaching for the things you value. It means you’re not fulfilling your potential.”

Now that you have a basic understanding of the two mindsets, let’s explore how to improve your piano playing confidence dramatically!

1. Play to Learn

“Becoming is better than being.”

Carol Dweck

Imagine for a moment that you are preparing to give a recital. You’ve been working on the repertoire for months and feel prepared but struggle with performance anxiety. You’re not sure how you’ll get through it without either throwing up or running off stage mid-recital.

Luckily, your teacher is a wise woman who always knows exactly what to say. She tells you to consider each of the following statements carefully and adopt one.

“Everything comes down to this one performance. I can’t miss a single note, or I’ll be found out as the imposter I am. I’ve got to prove my talent for playing because if I screw this up, I lose my right even to call myself a pianist.”

“I’m nervous about performing but am confident in all the work I’ve put in. This is an incredible opportunity to practice the art of performance, and I’m going to learn everything I can. Even if I miss notes or completely screw something up, I will come away with valuable information I wouldn’t otherwise learn.”

Now I ask you, which mindset would you rather adopt going into that recital?

Even if you’re not preparing for a recital, start making your piano practice about learning. Make it about becoming 1% better than you were yesterday, and you’ll quickly see your piano playing confidence go through the roof!

2. Focus on Yourself

We live in the best and the worst of times for improving your piano skills. Best in that we have unprecedented access to music and recordings unlike any in history. Worst in that, all these performances can create a tendency to compare ourselves to others.

And comparison can easily transition to feelings of demotivation and inferiority.

All those videos may cause you to question whether you’re wasting your time. You may feel like you’ll never be as good as insert name here, so what’s the point?

The point is that insert name here has spent thousands of hours practicing to get where they are today. They’ve put in the time and energy required to pull off that Rachmaninoff concerto successfully.

And you can either use your energy to feel down on yourself or to figure out to improve your skills. Stop making comparisons because it’s never fair to yourself.

Instead of comparing, shift your mindset to one of growth. And keep records of your progress so you can look back and realize just how massive your growth has been. There’s nothing that boosts my piano playing confidence quite like a look back at where I’ve been and where I am currently.

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3. Challenge as Opportunity to Skyrocket Your Piano Playing Confidence

“No matter what your current ability is, effort is what ignites that ability and turns it into accomplishment.”

Carol Dweck

My third mindset secret for improving piano playing confidence goes hand-in-hand with the second. It involves seeing challenge as an opportunity rather than as a roadblock.

Learning to play the piano is fascinating in that there’s always something to improve upon. I would argue that it’s impossible to learn all the repertoire out there. And there will always be nuances that are more difficult than others.

As an example, memorization has always been tricky for me. And I could choose to forget about memorizing as no one is forcing me to do it. But I love the challenge of continuing to learn a skill that doesn’t come naturally to me.

And as a result, I have found that memorizing is now easier than it ever used to be. It’s also become way more fun than I remember it being in my college days! I love taking a piece from sight-reading to memorization because I know how hard I have to work to make it happen.

And it makes the feeling of accomplishment that much sweeter!

I encourage you to start seeing the opportunity in the challenge instead of writing anything off as impossible. If nothing else, I hope you’ll understand the personal enjoyment that comes from doing something you once thought impossible!

4. Identify Your Alter Ego

Even the most positive thinkers among us have an alter ego. This alter ego loves to remind us of our limitations and past failures. It delights in cautioning us from taking chances to avoid embarrassment.

And if you think about it, the negative alter ego often aligns closely with characteristics of a fixed mindset. Although it hides under the guise of protecting you from the unknown, it only serves to hold you back from fantastic new opportunities. Or in the case of the piano, it feeds into the energy of low self-confidence, performance anxiety, and imposter syndrome.

And identifying this negative voice can be tricky!

But in her book, Dweck gives incredibly useful advice for managing these mindsets. She recommends clearly identifying your alter ego, going so far as to name it. By doing so, you can clearly distinguish between the two mindsets and begin to identify triggers for a fixed mindset clearly.

In time, you can start shutting down those negative thoughts before they’ve had a chance to take root. And with a firm grasp on growth mindset, I’m positive you’ll see your piano playing confidence go through the roof!

5. Look for Opportunity to Improve Character and Your Piano Playing Confidence

“Effort is one of those things that gives meaning to life. Effort means you care about something, that something is important to you, and you are willing to work for it.”

Carol Dweck

If there’s anything I’ve learned from life thus far, it’s that anything worth having takes effort. And nothing I’ve gotten easily has been of much value.

So it is with piano.

I would be lying if I said that I always feel like practicing. Or that I never get frustrated with various technical aspects of the instrument. But at the end of the day, I know all these challenges are transforming me into a stronger pianist. And a better person.

I hope it’s the same with you. Regardless of whether you’re working through a beginner book or are learning a Chopin etude, don’t give up! Keep at it and look for little ways to stay motivated. Embrace the growth mindset in piano and in life.

And if you’re looking for other ways to improve your piano playing confidence, make sure to check out these posts:

I also highly recommend you check out Mindset by Carol Dweck. It’s an easy read and applicable to both piano and life!

As always, I would love to hear from you! Where are you struggling in your piano journey? Or do you have any secrets to overcoming piano-related barriers? Do you relate to the concepts of fixed and growth mindset?

Please drop a comment below so I can address your questions and challenges here on Only Getting Better! And until next time, stay safe, healthy, and never stop seeking the best version of yourself!

5 Secrets to Channeling a Growth Mindset

5 Secrets to Channeling a Growth Mindset

I’m not a fan of sports in the traditional sense of the word. And by that, I mean the sense that involves people getting into teams and throwing or kicking balls back and forth.

Despite being married to arguably the world’s biggest sports fan, I can’t force myself to get into fandom.

I’ve walked out of multiple professional sporting events without the faintest idea who won. I’m not ashamed to admit that it’s tough for me even to care who wins.

There are times when I wish I could care about scores and teams for my husband’s sake. But at the end of the day, it’s tough for me to emotionally engage in something that has no direct impact on my daily life. Win or lose; my life goes on, so why waste the time or energy?

Despite a complete lack of interest in the mechanics of sports, there are concepts related to sports that deeply fascinate me. Such concepts include leadership, teamwork, and Michael Jordan.

This post may contain affiliate links, and as an affiliate of Amazon, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you if you purchase through a link. Please see my full disclosure for further information.

Champions: Born or Made?

I know what you’re thinking. Michael Jordan is not really a concept. He’s more of an iconic player the likes of which neither basketball nor the world is likely ever to see again.

And this is precisely what intrigues me!

How do the best in the world get to be the best? I’m not talking about people who are kinda good.

I’m talking about the type of skill that even someone 100% sports illiterate can recognize.

Is it luck? Are some people just born champions, automatically destined for greatness?

Honestly, I hope not because what kind of message does that send to those of us not blessed with immediately apparent superpowers? Are we all just doomed to a life of mediocrity even despite our best efforts?

Or are champions made? Do hours upon hours of hard work and sacrifice slowly mold someone into an icon?

The Myth of Natural Talent

I have to admit that I’ve always secretly hoped for the latter. I mean, who hasn’t rooted for the one with all the odds stacked against them?

And isn’t watching the underdog surmount seemingly impossible obstacles more thrilling than watching the character “born to play the game” anyway?

Despite my love for the underdog, there’s always been part of me who buys into “natural talent.” It’s the same part of me who has always believed smart people don’t have to work hard.

Or that if you’re meant to do something, it should come easily to you. You shouldn’t have to work hard at anything for which you are “destined.”

At first glance, being born with a gift for doing something seems completely legitimate. It’s an easy explanation for why some people stand as legends in their field. They are simply “born this way.”

But a closer look reveals a completely different story. It’s a story of passion, dedication, and perseverance under the most challenging circumstances. Turn on a documentary about any legendary sports figure, and you’ll see hours upon hours of (gasp!) hard work and sacrifice.

Not a single one of these legends chalks their success up to the luck of the draw. I would venture to guess that many would be insulted at the mere thought that someone would consider them a natural because it dismisses all the effort they’ve put in along the way.

Although I’m far from uncovering all the secrets to becoming a champion, I am pleased to say that I’ve found a few answers. And I’m more convinced than ever before that champions are not born. They’re made.

The Evidence

I know it sounds like a bold statement, but evidence supporting the truth of improvement through effort is all around. As previously mentioned, try to find one sports documentary that doesn’t touch on effort. And there are also entire books dedicated to the topic.

There is even a book dedicated to making meaningful improvements through the art of practice. And spoiler alert, there will be a blog post coming soon about this topic!

But this particular post is about mindset. Specifically, growth mindset.

So if I haven’t yet mentioned this, let me take this opportunity to encourage you to read Mindset. Written by Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, it’s a powerful testimony to the impact mindset has on our lives. The book also specifically breaks down mindset techniques applicable to work, parenting, relationships, and teaching.

I promise that it will change how you think about thinking. It will also challenge how you interact with friends, colleagues, your spouse, and even your kids.

The book is a complete game-changer! And to demonstrate what I’m talking about, let’s get into what it means to have a growth mindset.

The Secret’s in the Mindset

“In a growth mindset, challenges are exciting rather than threatening. So rather than thinking, oh, I’m going to reveal my weaknesses, you say, wow, here’s a chance to grow.”

Carol Dweck

“Mindset” is a word thrown around all the time, but a mindset is simply a way of thinking. It’s how we sort out the world around us. And in her book called Mindset, Carol Dweck explores two specific types: the fixed and the growth mindset.

In the most basic sense, the difference between the two lies in the states of either becoming or being. The fixed mindset often revolves around continually needing to prove oneself to those around them. It also involves having very “fixed” viewpoints with little belief that meaningful change is possible. The fixed mindset is, therefore, the state of being.

On the other hand, the growth mindset is about learning. Someone with a growth mindset cares little about what those around them think as long as they gain value from the experience. They are constantly looking for ways to improve and to give goals their absolute best shot. This is the mindset of becoming rather than being.

The growth mindset is crucial to achieving success in life. This is the mindset that sets champions apart from the rest.

It’s important to remember that everyone has characteristics of both mindsets. And one may come out more prominently than the other in certain situations. As with most things in life, awareness is the first step.

Now let’s dig into the secrets of channeling a growth mindset!

1. Growth Mindset Secret: The Power of Yet

My very first secret to channeling a growth mindset uses the subtlety of language. More specifically, the addition of one simple word to goals you’re working on achieving.

And that word is “yet.” Yet is a powerful reminder that your goals are on the horizon of just a little bit more effort. Whether you’re talking to yourself or your kids, including this one small word changes everything.

As an example, let’s consider a goal to lose weight. Consider each of the following statements:

A) I haven’t lost 20 pounds.

B) I haven’t lost 20 pounds yet.

Which of the two sounds more motivating? Statement A implies a vague goal that may or may not be achieved. On the other hand, statement B frames the goal in a way that feels as if those 20 pounds are right around the corner.

Language matters. Especially the language you use to yourself. Pay attention to your thinking and how you come across to yourself deep inside.

Is your inner voice forgiving and encouraging? Or is it harsh and critical?

Life is hard enough without a strict inner critic catastrophizing every move you make.

And if you’re looking for more on adding “yet” to your goals, check out Carol Dweck’s incredibly inspirational TED talk.

2. Growth Mindset Secret: Embrace Challenges

“People in a growth mindset don’t just seek challenges, they thrive on it. The bigger the challenge, the more they stretch.”

Carol Dweck

What goes through your mind when an unexpected roadblock to achieving your goal pops up? Does your brain take a turn to negative town? Do you immediately begin worrying about how you’ll make it through? Maybe you even think about giving up on your goal.

I don’t know about you, but this is my brain left unchecked. At the slightest hint of struggle, my brain automatically conjures worst-case scenarios. It’s kind of like my anti-superpower. And by that, I mean it’s the exact opposite of an actual superpower because it’s so wildly unhelpful.

Unhelpful, that is until I learned to embrace it.

We all have obstacles in our path. Some are physical, and some are mental or emotional. And I’ve learned that I’m often the one standing in my way.

I know this to be true because, in any given situation, things have always worked out for my good. It’s been the times that stand out as most challenging when I’ve learned the most about myself.

Challenge means change. It means massive growth on a scale impossible to imagine with the status quo.

Start embracing the challenges that come your way. Don’t give in to fear. And remember that everything is working for your good.

3. Growth Mindset Secret: Focus on Learning

“The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.”

Carol Dweck

If you struggle with perfectionism, imposter syndrome, or both, this next growth mindset secret is for you!

After reading Mindset, it became incredibly apparent to me how fixed my mindset tends to be in certain situations. And I’ve discovered a connection between having a fixed mindset and imposter syndrome.

As an example, I’ve found that when my mindset seems to be most fixed, it also tends to be a situation when I most fear being uncovered as an imposter. They also tend to be situations when my perfectionist side comes out the strongest.

But when I started approaching these situations to learn rather than impress others, imposter syndrome has also magically released its hold.

Unfortunately, I’ve also recognized similar associations in my kids. But emphasizing “learning” rather than “being smart” is starting to transition my mindset and my kids to more of a growth mindset.

Embracing “learning” over “being” also tells that harsh inner critic to take a back seat because failure is expected when you’re learning. My most valuable lessons have come from some of my biggest failures.

Start framing your interactions with a learning mindset, and I’m confident you’ll see perfectionism and your fears of being discovered as an imposter melt away. I guarantee that it’s a more free and peaceful way to live!

If you’re looking for more on freeing yourself from perfectionism, make sure to check out this post.

4. Growth Mindset Secret: Watch for Success in Others

This next growth mindset secret goes back to where we started in the beginning. If you want to get better at something, find the best and learn from them.

Rather than be threatened by success, use it as the path to get where you want to go.

Thanks to the internet and social media, it’s easier than ever to access their secrets.

I’m talking basketball, business, crocheting, and anything in between. The core principle of the growth mindset is a belief that you can improve. You can, through focused effort, make strides in your ability to do anything.

I’m not saying that I’m hoping to emulate Michael’s dunking skills, but I strive to be known as someone who works harder and is more passionate about my goals than anyone in the room.

Figure out your thing and find that person from whom you can learn the secrets of success.

5. Growth Mindset Secret: Recognize Your Mindset

“Mindsets frame the running account that’s taking place in people’s heads. They guide the whole interpretation process. The fixed mindset creates an internal monologue that is focused on judging. People with the growth mindset … are attuned to implications for learning and constructive action.”

Carol Dweck

The last growth mindset secret is the most important of all. It’s vital because you must recognize the difference between the two mindsets in yourself; otherwise, improvement is nearly impossible.

In the very last chapter of the book, Dweck describes practical exercises for determining whether you’re in a fixed or growth mindset. She even advises naming your fixed mindset and giving it a persona to make recognition easier.

When I feel vulnerable and “judged,” I’ve found that it means I’m in a fixed rather than growth mindset. When I center myself on keeping the above 4 growth mindset secrets in mind, I find converting back to growth simple.

Take a minute to think about your own life. Are there specific situations that trigger the need to prove yourself to others? How do those situations make you feel? And what would you rather be feeling in those moments?

Recognition goes a long way towards improvement, and I truly hope you have found this post helpful in your journey toward a more peaceful and positive life.

Until next time, make sure you check out Mindset by Carol Dweck and if you’re looking for more positive inspiration, make sure you check out one of the following posts!

The ONE Thing: A Case for Narrowing Your Focus

The ONE Thing: A Case for Narrowing Your Focus

“If you chase two rabbits, you will catch neither one.”

Russian Proverb

If you’re a blogger, a business owner, or someone with varied interests, I’m sure you’ve heard the advice before. “Find your one thing and channel all your energy into it. Niche down or fail.”

Take a look around, and you’ll see countless examples of wildly successful people. Presumably successful because they’ve gone all-in on their ONE thing at the expense of all else.

As I write this, the summer 2021 Olympics are just wrapping up. And if you think about it, can there possibly be a better example of niching down than an Olympic athlete?

Decades of hard work, sacrifice, and intense focus all come down to one moment. ONE moment that ends in either joyful celebration or heartbreakingly devastating defeat.

And if you’re anything like me, this extreme example is precisely why the advice to niche down falls on deaf ears. I don’t argue the fact that intense focus yields extraordinary results.

It’s the other half of the equation, or the loss of everything else at the expense of that ONE thing, that scares me.

This post may contain affiliate links, and as an affiliate of Amazon, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you if you purchase through a link. Please see my full disclosure for further information.

A Tale of Multiple Interests

I’ve always had an array of potentially all-consuming interests. As an example, my full-time gig is as a nurse practitioner, but I also have a fine arts degree in music.

I started this blog to indulge my love of writing and personal development, but I also moonlight as an organist in a few local churches. And let’s not forget my fascination for anything involving horses but especially the art of dressage.

One could argue that perhaps I put a little too much stock in that old saying, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”

I thrive on variety.

But at times, it feels like I can’t move ahead in anything because my focus is so broad. And to make things even murkier, throw a husband, 3 kids, and the weight of maintaining a house in the mix.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that some days feel like slogging through a lake of molasses in January.

I’ll be the first to admit that the sludge is my own doing through a failure to pare anything down. And my resolve to excel in various fields has only been spurred on by works like Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World.

But sometimes, the chaos of chasing so many dreams drags you down. It causes you to look around for an alternate perspective. ONE perspective to fit all those individual puzzle pieces into a cohesive picture.

I found such a perspective in The ONE Thing by Gary Keller.

Success Comes from Subtraction Rather Than Addition

“Extraordinary results are directly determined by how narrow you can make your focus.”

Gary Keller

The ONE Thing is a book that frequents top 10 personal development lists. It’s mentioned over and over by self-help gurus.

The book is written by Gary Keller, founder of the largest real estate company in the world. An internet search reveals his net worth of around $35 million.

Keller describes his success as partially attributable to figuring out the ONE thing that makes everything else easier. And once you figure out that ONE thing, everything else falls into place.

Success, therefore, comes from weeding out the excess rather than taking more on. It’s a simple matter of subtraction rather than addition.

And the concept of doing less is a refreshing one in a culture constantly preaching the philosophy of doing more.

There is No Such Thing as Multitasking

Did you know that multitasking is a myth? It’s physically impossible for your brain to process two conscious thoughts at once effectively.

To prove my point, try this little experiment. In your head, add up 546 and 376 at the same time you spell OUTSTANDING aloud.

Did you do it? If so, you might have superpowers!

But if you weren’t successful, take heart. You’re human! Our brains aren’t designed to consciously perform multiple functions simultaneously.

There are tasks that your brain has learned to automate, such as walking and chewing gum. But neither job typically requires deep thought.

True success, however, comes from the type of sustained focus that can only be achieved by blocking out all distractions. Regardless of your end goal, breaking each step into pieces and focusing solely on the tiny action steps is crucial.

Mastery is More of a Journey

“Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason, mastery demands all of a person.”

Albert Einstein

Do you know the one thing that the most successful people in the world all have in common?

They never give up. No matter what life throws in their way. They keep moving forward towards their ultimate goal of mastery.

Successful people realize that success isn’t about a destination. It’s a journey.

Success means showing up day after day. It means putting in the work even when it’s unattractive, demanding, or boring.

It also means blocking out all else to become truly great at their ONE thing. Sometimes that means permanently shelving other passions or interests for the sake of moving forward in one specific area.

At other times, success means scaling back on other interests for a season to clear space for that ONE thing which will then make everything else easier.

A great example of this is pursuing a degree. Being in school means devoting large chunks of time to school-related activities. And because we all have the same 24 hours in a day, you typically must cut down on other activities to ensure success in your academic program. But the hope is that once you finish, your higher level of income will then support your various interests.

And the journey to mastery never ends because there’s ALWAYS another level. There’s always another post to publish, sales quota to meet, or product idea waiting to be created.

Mastery means breaking barriers and pushing limits, both complex tasks when your attention is spread too widely.

Balance Doesn’t Exist When Pursuing Your ONE Thing

I may have mentioned this before, but my interests have bounced around dramatically for most of my life. Although they have all remained relatively stable, there are certain times of my life when I pursue one more strongly than the others.

And I’ve found that I tend to chase interests at the neglect of all others. Although I make progress in one area, I then felt a sense of guilt about the others due to the lack of progress.

It had me questioning balance and whether I was setting myself up for a life of hopeless imbalance.

This again inspired a bit of guilt, and so the cycle continued.

Fortunately, Keller’s philosophy on balance differs from most of social media. He asserts that there can be no balance when you’re genuinely pursuing your ONE thing because success depends upon excluding anything that doesn’t involve that thing.

Imbalance naturally follows mastery.

It’s a strangely profound and comforting reassurance that my efforts are not entirely off base.

Living Without Regrets

“A life worth living might be measured in many ways, but the one that stands above all others is living a life of no regrets.”

Gary Keller

Although there are many great takeaway messages from the book, one of the most powerful is to create a life free of regrets. And as someone with a huge variety of interests, it can be easy to make excuses rather than feel the sting of regret.

Excuses about why I’m not as far along as I’d like to be in a particular area. Or excuses about my limited ability to devote time to any one pursuit.

But the benefit of applying all your focus to ONE thing is that your power is magnified. Focus means you find that thing and forget the rest. And by doing this, you can look back and know that you gave it your all.

Not some half-hearted attempt at trying. Or a bunch of excuses about why you never achieved your goal.

You have the satisfaction of knowing you either succeeded or gave it your all in the attempt.

How to Apply The ONE Thing to Your Life

I’ll admit that I was skeptical when starting this book. Mainly because I consider myself to be multi-passionate, and I initially didn’t care for the thought of giving anything up.

On the other hand, I adore seeing progress! I love being able to look back at where I started and tell that my hard work has made a difference.

And thanks to having my hands in so many pots, I’ve not had that type of satisfaction as often as I would like. Even before reading the book, frustration over not making significant strides has caused me to contemplate simplifying my life a tad.

I’m a firm believer that you shouldn’t read personal development unless you intend to improve your life. There’s so much value out there if you’re willing to open your mind to alternative perspectives.

And with that being said, The ONE Thing has encouraged me to narrow my focus to improve my impact. The following are specific ways in which I intend to implement what I learned.

If you too struggle with feeling spread too thin, check out the book. Try a few of these tactics and watch your outlook (and feelings of accomplishment!) dramatically improve.

Accept Chaos

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spent your entire life avoiding chaos. You love wrapping things up into neat little packages.

But the flip side is that you likely feel stressed when life doesn’t go as planned. You spend so much energy fighting the chaos that you have little left over for actually living.

It’s time to release your need for control. Fighting the chaos isn’t getting you anywhere, so why not embrace it?

Accept that when you focus intensely on one thing, everything else gets put on the back burner.

I’m not saying you should forget about your husband and kids to focus solely on starting your business. Or let your house return to its natural state of decay while you spend hours happily blogging away (guilty as charged on this one!).

But I am saying you can expect chaos in your life when you choose to narrow your focus. And that’s ok.

Time Blocking for Your ONE Thing

Throughout his book, Keller embraces the concept of time blocking. If you’re not familiar, it involves dedicating larger chunks of time to very specific activities.

His more specific recommendation is to chunk out at least 4 hours each day for your ONE thing. He does acknowledge that you may have legitimate reasons why you may need to shorten your daily time allotment.

The main point is that you need to prioritize the activities that will promote progress in your ONE thing.

Question Everything

“What’s the ONE thing you can do such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”

Gary Keller

Throughout the book, Keller refers to the ONE question you need to ask yourself to stay on track.

He recommends asking yourself this question first thing in the morning and periodically checking in with yourself throughout the day. Questioning yourself ensures you stick to the straight and narrow path of focus.

It also helps to cut down or eliminate all those little unnecessary distractors we all engage in throughout the day by forcing you to remain accountable.

For me, those distractors include checking email, Facebook and stopping to chat with people during the day.

Time is our most valuable resource, and we have to protect it continually, or it vanishes without a single thing to show for its presence.

Say “No”

And speaking of priorities, Keller is very clear about the need to say “no.” A lot.

You must keep your ONE thing front and center. Consider everything else a distraction.

As a serial people pleaser, saying “no” is sometimes incredibly difficult for me. But hearing that saying “no” is crucial to my overall success somehow takes the stigma out of it.

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say again that it’s refreshing to hear the message of less rather than more as a secret for success.

Toast Your Wins

As a high achiever, I have a difficult time celebrating success. I tend to jump from accomplishment to accomplishment with scarcely a breath in between.

Despite Keller’s advice on buckling down and focusing on the task at hand, he implores you to celebrate your wins. Big or small, I wholeheartedly agree.

If you don’t take the time to enjoy life, what’s the point of working hard? Without celebration, life turns into one obligation after another on a fast track to burnout.

For your quality of life, you absolutely must celebrate those milestones!

It’s Your Turn to Find Your ONE Thing

Whether you’re trying to balance a full-time career with a side gig, have too many hobbies, or anything in between, I truly hope you found this post helpful!

Despite my initial reluctance to dive into the book, I have to admit that it was well worth the read. I’ve already started implementing a plan to narrow my focus, accept chaos, and toast my wins, big and small.

For even more great advice, make sure you check out The ONE Thing by Gary Keller. Below are a couple of additional books I consider essential reading for high-achievers.

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As always, make sure to leave a comment below with your thoughts on the post. Are you struggling with multipotentialite tendencies? Have you ever considered narrowing your focus? And what would you need to get started on your journey toward more tremendous success?

5 Powerful Ways to Halt Limiting Beliefs in their Tracks

5 Powerful Ways to Halt Limiting Beliefs in their Tracks

As the name implies, limiting beliefs are beliefs that hold you back in some area of your life. These beliefs about yourself or the world keep you stuck in toxic patterns of guilt, sadness, and inadequacy.

They keep you from flourishing into the person you’re meant to be.

Limiting beliefs live deep in your subconscious, fueling fear and driving your decision-making.

And do you want to know the worst part?

The fact that limiting beliefs stem from your subconscious rather than your thinking mind means that identifying and reversing them can be tricky.

Tricky but NOT impossible!

Stick with me as we unpack limiting beliefs, including examples, where they come from, and most importantly, powerful ways to reduce their influence in your life.

This post may contain affiliate links, and as an affiliate of Amazon, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you if you purchase through a link. Please see my full disclosure for further information.

One Shark and Several Fish

Have you heard of the shark and fish experiment?

It’s a potent example of how limiting beliefs can replace even the most fundamental instincts.

As the story goes, a marine biologist decided to see whether a shark could be conditioned to stop eating fish.

The biologist started by putting a shark in a tank with small fish. Obviously, the shark ate the fish.

The next step was to create a physical boundary between the shark and fish. As you can imagine, the shark made an aggressive attack on the plexiglass, initially injuring itself.

The shark continued its fruitless attacks on the fish. Eventually, the shark’s attacks grew less and less aggressive.

After a while, the marine biologist removed the plexiglass.

And guess what?

Not one fish was harmed. The shark did not attempt to attack even though the physical boundary was gone.

With the plexiglass gone, the shark could have feasted to its heart’s content. But the shark couldn’t overcome the limiting beliefs that overrode its basic survival instincts and eventually died.

Unfortunately, the same thing can happen to our dreams and goals if we don’t identify and breakthrough our self-constructed barriers.

What are limiting beliefs?

In most instances, limiting beliefs are formed in early childhood. At the most basic level, limiting beliefs start as the brain’s attempt at rationalizing a situation.

Let’s look at a widespread limiting belief that millions all over the world share: “I am not important.”

When you were growing up, how many times did you ask for your parents’ attention? I’m guessing it’s somewhere around the millions.

For whatever reason, your parents were unable to give you the attention you were seeking at that moment. And they may have had a perfectly legitimate reason for not paying attention.

But at that moment, your little brain came up with a story. A story that has stuck with you to this day.

And the story deep down inside is that you don’t matter.

Since that time, the thought that you’re not important has become so deeply ingrained within that it runs on autopilot. Much like the shark hitting the plexiglass, you’ve constructed stories that keep you from reaching your full potential.

Limiting Beliefs as a Safety Mechanism

Although I’ve painted a grim picture of limiting beliefs as a whole, it’s worth mentioning that they do serve as a safety mechanism. They keep us from inherently questionable decisions like picking up a random hitchhiker or stealing an ATM.

To backtrack a bit, when you boil down the most basic of all brain functions, safety is the #1 priority. It’s your brain’s job to keep you safe.

And although you may be aware of this primary function of the subconscious, seeing it in action isn’t always obvious. But your subconscious is constantly on the alert for potentially “dangerous” situations.

Over time, the definition of “dangerous” has changed drastically. Danger used to mean an attack from a saber tooth tiger or a gang of marauding pirates.

But nowadays, danger comes in the form of public speaking, a job interview, or even a difficult conversation with your spouse. It’s a far cry from the immediate threat of life or limb.

And to be fair, the constant processing of environmental stimuli is a tremendous job. It’s way too big for the conscious mind to tackle, thus the reason for the subconscious.

But when the subconscious picks up on negative emotions, it feeds stories to the conscious in an attempt to keep you far from danger.

The Fine Line Between Safety and Stagnation

And when your subconscious picks up on negativity, those limiting beliefs come out in full force. They form a barrier that can be difficult to overcome.

In days gone by, the barrier would be a good thing. It would’ve kept you alive.

But in today’s world, the barrier keeps you from honestly expressing yourself or going all-in on something you’re passionate about. Negativity, therefore, starts a feedback loop fueled by fear and false stories you’ve concocted based on events you may not even have fully understood at the time.

Although the stories were created when you were young, it’s never too late to reverse them.

Let’s explore how you can halt limiting beliefs in their tracks!

How can you expand your limiting beliefs?

It’s difficult to reverse limiting beliefs about yourself unless you’re crystal clear on what those beliefs are. Asking yourself a series of questions and capturing the responses by putting pen to paper is hands down your best bet.

It turns out that writing is one of the best ways to unite the logical left brain with the creative right. This “whole-brain” approach is an effective way to access complex emotions and thought patterns. A

In other words, journaling connects the two parts of your brain in a way that enables you to understand yourself and the world around you more deeply.

If you haven’t already incorporated journaling into your daily routine, now is the time! Let’s walk through how you can apply this powerful technique to unlock your limiting beliefs.

Step 1: Uncover Your Limiting Beliefs Through Journaling

In the first step, you will consider the various areas of your life and determine where you’re at in this moment.

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • What are the goals I’m working toward? (self, home, work, relationships, hobbies, etc.)
  • Am I satisfied with the progress I’m making in each of these areas?
  • Are the results in each area consistent with where I would like to be?
  • And are there areas where I would like to make progress but just can’t seem to get ahead?

Step 1 is a brainstorming session. Now is NOT the time to censor yourself!

Remember that no one has to read what you’re putting on paper. The most crucial piece of uncovering your emotions and thought processes is honesty with yourself.

Step 2: Analyze Your Writing

As you write, pay close attention to your mood and energy levels when you think about all the different aspects of your life. If you have particularly negative thoughts or feelings about something, consider those feelings a red flag for limiting beliefs.

Equally important are your explanations about why you’re not getting results because those stories almost always have their roots in limiting beliefs.

As you think about what you’ve written, carefully consider whether the stories you’re telling yourself are serving you in any way.

Remember all that stuff about the subconscious and safety? This is where all that comes into play. As an example, one of my most deeply rooted limiting beliefs is that I’m not good enough.

This belief manifests itself as significant performance anxiety in my work as a pianist. Although I love playing the piano, the limiting belief that I’m not good enough causes my hands to shake and my heart to beat faster.

Both physical reactions make playing accurately infinitely more challenging.

Deep down, my subconscious has hard-wired feelings of inadequacy, resulting in physical changes in a performance situation. And all this happens because my brain interprets fear as a negative emotion to be avoided at all costs.

Step 3: Flip the Script

Once you uncover your core limiting beliefs, it’s time to challenge those thoughts. Remember that most of your limiting beliefs were formed in early childhood when your understanding of the world around you was incredibly limited.

And seeing them written in black and white in front of you has a way of uncovering them as the lies they’ve always been. Because your thoughts are deeply personal, it’s easy to believe that thoughts are truth.

But in most cases, thoughts are simply thoughts. Neither positive nor negative. It’s only when you assign some type of meaning to them that they can exert their influence one way or the other.

Writing your own script, therefore, becomes crucial.

For each limiting belief you uncover, use your story-telling prowess to concoct a belief that positively serves you.

Step 4: Find the Evidence

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

Henry Ford

Once you’ve come up with a new story, it’s time to solidify it. You can lock the new story in by looking for evidence around you that supports your more positive belief system.

And it may sound crazy, but there’s an area of the brain designed specifically for this task.

It’s called the reticular activating system, and its job is to filter out millions of stimuli to find those most relevant to you. B

The reticular activating system is why you hear your name in a noisy room. Or why you buy a red car and suddenly see red cars everywhere.

We recently added a Goldendoodle puppy to our family. Before bringing him home, I rarely saw other doodles out and about. Since his addition to our family, I see at least one doodle wherever I go.

And the truth is, doodles were always everywhere. But until getting one, my reticular activating system never alerted me to their presence.

What this means for you is that if you look for evidence to support your positive beliefs, you’ll find it. Unfortunately, the converse is also true. And up until now, your reticular activating system has been programmed to find evidence supporting your limiting beliefs.

Step 5: Personal Development

I’m not here to sugarcoat anything. Reversing your limiting beliefs takes work. This process takes serious effort! But the alternative is to stay stuck in a negative cycle of guilt and inadequacy.

Ain’t no one got time for that!

As you create new belief patterns and are looking for evidence to support those narratives, don’t underestimate the power of personal development.

Whether in the form of blogs, podcasts, or even masterminds, filling your mind with positivity is powerful.

I also highly recommend paying attention to your mood and energy levels. If your mood and energy are low, it’s much easier to get sucked into being a negative Nelly.

It becomes difficult to break out of your comfort zone and away from those tired old limiting beliefs. Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally is something I can’t recommend highly enough.

It’s the key between telling yourself that you matter and actually feeling as if you matter.

If you’re looking for some quality personal development, check out some of my top posts:

And if you’re looking for further inspiration, make sure you check out my top book recommendations:

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Feel free to drop a comment below with the limiting beliefs you’re struggling with right now. I’d love to support you on your journey toward a more positive inner (and outer) world!

A: Purcell, M. (2016, May 17). The Health Benefits of Journaling. The Health Benefits of Journaling (psychcentral.com)

B: van Schneider, T. (2017, June 22). If you want it, you just might get it. The reticular activating system explained. If you want it, you might get it. The Reticular Activating System explained | by Tobias van Schneider | Desk of van Schneider | Medium

How to Dramatically Improve Your Mental Focus

How to Dramatically Improve Your Mental Focus

The world is full of distractions. Thanks to technology, we can now follow any breaking news story in even the most remote corner of the world. Or stay caught up with friends from high school without as much as a phone call. We can even entertain ourselves for hours on end simply by watching 30-second video clips made by strangers.

All these distractions can make focusing on one task for any length of time feel impossible. And it can seem as if the world discourages the deep mental focus necessary for goal achievement and true mastery.

The good news is that there are ways you can dramatically improve your mental focus. Even if you’re not training for the Olympics or to be a cab driver in London, learning to improve your mental focus has incredible benefits. From stress relief to momentum to a greater sense of accomplishment, taking the time to improve this vital skill is well worth the effort!

In the following post, I’ve broken down the various ways you can improve focus both in the moment and over time. Although each tip requires effort, the benefits over time far outweigh the time spent up-front.

This post may contain affiliate links and as a member of the Amazon Affiliate program, this means we may receive a commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase through a link. Please see our full disclosure for further information.

How to Dramatically Improve Your Mental Focus NOW

Although there are long-term tactics and daily habits which compound to better focus over time, there are also ways you can improve your mental focus right here, right now.

Pay Attention to Your Surroundings

Check the clutter. Does your environment encourage you to focus, or is it distracting? I’m speaking from experience when I say that focusing surrounded by messiness is nearly impossible.

As an example, I give you Exhibit A, my living room, when I sat down to start this post yesterday. It gave off an incredibly messy, cluttered, and chaotic vibe. And although I tried as hard as I could, I wrote barely ten sentences.

Yikes … did a typhoon hit my living room?!

Getting into the flow of creativity felt impossible.

So I took a break. I hit up Pinterest and got my organizational groove going. And then I made a quick Wal-Mart stop.

Three short hours later, my living room was well on its way to Better Homes & Gardens greatness. Maybe it wasn’t quite impressive enough for a magazine, but things feel 100% more relaxing.

Huge improvement! Ready for my photo shoot …

And when I’m relaxed, it’s much easier to get into a creative flow.

Needless to say, after taking a timeout to organize my environment, my mental focus improved by leaps and bounds. If you’re also struggling to get into a creative flow, take a quick check of your surroundings. It may be well worth your while to take time out to be more productive in the long run.

Limit Distractions

It’s ironic that as I type, my 5-year-old is whispering, “and now the chickens have the ball” into my ear. And the dog has wrapped himself up around the patio furniture for the 16th time today.

If I haven’t mentioned it before, I’ll say it here. Life is one huge distraction!

Although distraction comes in all shapes and sizes, it’s not all bad. I love my family more than anything and acknowledge that my kids are growing bigger every day. At some point, they will no longer be whispering random phrases about chickens in my ear.

I’m thankful for the distraction my family brings because it reminds me of what’s truly important.

But having limitations on my time and attention means I’ve learned to limit wherever I can. One of the ways I’ve done this is by shutting off phone app alerts. As a result, I am no longer interrupted every time I get an email. Shutting off phone alerts is one of the simplest ways to improve your mental focus.

Although stopping a task to respond to one email may not seem like a big deal, it adds up over time. Research shows that it can take around 23 minutes to re-focus on a task after an interruption.1 Multiply that one email by the total number of emails you get in one day, and it’s easy to see why limiting interruptions matters!

Add Variety

This next tip is for you if you want to improve a skill or to understand a topic on a deeper level. Whether you’re trying to become a better pianist or pass a business law exam, get creative with your study time.

The more creative you can get, the better! For example, if you’re studying for an anatomy quiz, bust out your lyric writing skills and pair that previously boring material with your favorite pop tune. You could also try creating a quiz, explaining the topic to a friend, or even writing a blog post about it.

And when practicing a skill or studying, keep in mind that learning doesn’t stop at remembering the information. You have to also practice retrieving the information you’ve stored in your brain. Finding creative ways to store and access the information ensures stronger neural connections and the ability to apply the knowledge in various settings.

Using a variety of techniques to learn keeps things exciting. And when something is interesting, it’s much easier to improve your mental focus.

Don’t Scratch the Itch

Have you ever been trying to get into a creative workflow, but all these intrusive thoughts keep popping up?

“I wonder if Jessica had her baby yet. I should check Facebook.”

“Is it going to rain later today? I should check the weather.”

“What are the current COVID-19 rates in my state? Maybe I should check the news.”

It’s almost as if your brain knows it will be working hard, and it wants to avoid the work by distracting you. And it usually distracts you with incredibly superficial ideas. The type of ideas that take almost zero energy to address.

And since these ideas take no energy, one would think they’re not a big deal. Except for a couple of things. Remember how long it takes to re-focus when you’ve been distracted? Multiply that one distraction by the number of times your attention shifts from the topic at hand during the day.

The other thing is that distraction can become a habit. Give in too many times, and your brain forgets how to do the challenging work necessary for goal accomplishment.

My brain loves to throw superficial distractions at me constantly. I’ve found that when I consistently give in, it’s much tougher to get into a creative flow. But I’ve learned a simple trick to thwart my brain’s attempts at laziness.

Whenever a distracting thought comes up, I tell myself that if I still have the burning desire to check Facebook in 5 minutes, I will. Problem solved! And by the time 5 minutes have passed, I’ve completely forgotten about it.

If you’re looking for more tips on getting into a creative flow, make sure to check out this post.

Take a Break

After you’ve put in focus for a length of time, give yourself the reward of a break! Breaks are essential if you’ve been focusing intensely for a sustained period because your brain needs to recharge.

So indulge in that guilty Netflix pleasure or chat it up with a friend. You’ve earned it!

How to Improve Your Mental Focus Over Time

Now that you have a solid understanding of quick fixes for how to improve your mental focus, it’s time to switch gears to habit changes over time.

Set Goals

Although setting goals is essential, one of the more important tasks is to review your progress. Are you attaining the goals that you set for yourself? When you look back at where you spend your time and energy, are you satisfied?

There’s a ton of advice out there about setting goals. Anyone can sit down and write a list of things they would like to accomplish. But setting goals is the easy part. The hard part comes when you commit to a goal and focus on making it happen.

Although it can be difficult to acknowledge this truth, you actually can’t do it all. And depending on the size of the goal, you have to make tough choices. Pursuing one goal often means saying “no” to 26 others.

But you can accomplish great things if you align your goals and actions.

And you can dramatically improve your mental focus by gaining clarity and becoming specific about your goals. Our brains love clear-cut and measurable when it comes to goal-setting, while vague only results in mental clutter.

Therefore, if you want to improve your mental focus, consider whether your goals align with your actions. If they don’t, it’s time to make tough choices about where to devote your time and energy.

Check out this post for how to gain clarity on your life and goals.

Make a Plan

After taking time to seek clarity on your goals, it’s time to set a clear direction for where you want to go.

It may sound counterintuitive, but you only need to figure out the next step or two. You don’t need steps 3-5 or even 8-11 when you’re just getting started.

Take one step at a time. The next step will reveal itself when you’re ready for it.

Even if it’s a concise one, having a plan helps to reduce mental clutter and improve your mental focus over time. And, if nothing else, it gives you a way to track your ongoing progress.

Improve Your Mental Focus by Sleeping & Exercising

Sleep and exercise go hand-in-hand with better cognition. Each has a role in reducing stress and promoting feel-good chemicals in the brain. Both are vital components of overall health.

Since we’ve already established that specifics important, try to get at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night, pair with 150 minutes of aerobic exercise weekly, and you’ll be well on your way to improved mental focus!2

And if you’re looking for tips on improving the quality of your sleep, make sure you check out this post.

Meditate to Improve Your Mental Focus

Alongside sleep and regular exercise, meditation is rising to the top as a practice beneficial for decreasing anxiety and improving mental focus.

Although there are different types of meditation, mental focus is central to most practices. In some instances, it may be awareness of the breath. Focusing your thoughts on a specific image or feeling may form the basis of other meditative practices.

Regardless of the type, meditation also involves regularly refocusing after distraction. And being able to refocus after distraction is a beneficial skill in today’s highly distractible world!

Although research into meditation and the brain is relatively new, results have been positive. One study even demonstrated enhanced focus among people who regularly meditate compared to those who do not.3

Meditation offers a host of other benefits to those who practice it regularly. It may just become your new favorite self-care activity!

Play Games

I’m not kidding! There is research to support specific games having the ability to improve your mental focus.4 Mario Kart didn’t quite make the list, but if you’re a fan of sudoku and crossword puzzles, you’re in luck!

You could also try chess, word searches, and jigsaw puzzles.

These and similar activities improve both working and short-term memory while improving problem-solving skills. How amazing is that?

Stop Multitasking

It may come as somewhat of a shock, but did you know that our brains can’t multitask? Although it seems as if we can do two (or more) tasks at once, our brains can only do one. What you are experiencing when trying to do multiple tasks at once are micro shifts in attention that facilitate the completion of tasks.

But the micro shifts in attention come at the cost of both efficiency and accuracy. And I have to think that multitasking regularly prevents the deep, mental focus required for specific tasks. It encourages superficial and distracted thinking, which is the exact opposite of focus.

Multitasking is difficult for me to break free from because my work and home life are inherently filled with it. I find myself in a constant state of distraction, and finding the time and mental energy to focus is challenging.

But I’m always searching for ways to improve. And by trying each of the above strategies, I’ve improved my mental focus over time.

It’s Your Turn to Improve Your Mental Focus

And there you have it! Actionable tips you can try to improve your mental focus both in the short term and over time. Give them a try, and let me know how they work in the comments below.

If you’re looking for even more resources, check out these life-changing books!

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1. Wong, K. (2015, July 29). How Long it Takes to Get Back on Track After a Distraction. How Long It Takes to Get Back on Track After a Distraction (lifehacker.com)

2: Harvard Health Publishing. (2020, October 1). Tips to Improve Concentration. Tips to improve concentration – Harvard Health

3: Gowin, J. (2012, April 20). Brain Scans Show How Meditation Improves Mental Focus. Brain Scans Show How Meditation Improves Mental Focus | Psychology Today

4: Raypole, C. (2019, September 3). 12 Tips to Improve Your Concentration. How to Improve Concentration: 12 Science-Backed Tips, and More (healthline.com)

3 Secrets to Reversing Your Perfectionist Tendencies

3 Secrets to Reversing Your Perfectionist Tendencies

“Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception – we want to be perceived as perfect. Again, this is unattainable – there is no way to control perception, regardless of how much time and energy we spend trying.”

Brene Brown

I’ve worn perfectionism like a badge of honor for most of my life. I sincerely believed that obsessing over every little detail was to thank for the significant personal and professional successes in my life.

Wasn’t my inability to relax to thank for earning a graduate degree, working, maintaining a household, continuing to raise 3 kids, and cultivating multiple hobbies simultaneously? And wasn’t my intense fear of failure the thing that kept me on course and committed to goals within my comfort zone? Wasn’t my belief that if something didn’t come easily, then I shouldn’t pursue it acting as a life compass, keeping me on the straight and narrow path of what I was meant to do?

The Lies of Perfectionism

For years, I consistently told people that perfectionism was my fatal flaw. I secretly embraced this entire way of being. And the truth is that my perfectionist tendencies provided the optimal scapegoat for every success and failure in my life. Perfectionism was the thing I could both thank and blame for anything in my life.

My perfectionist tendencies ultimately allowed me to surrender responsibility and take a backseat in my own life. Initially, the focus on doing everything perfectly in my life gave me direction. It gave me an overarching goal. When life got crazy, I clung to my perfectionist tendencies as tightly as Rose clung to that raft after the Titanic sank.

Although perfectionism seemed like a worthy goal in the beginning, there have been negative side effects. Giving in to perfectionism led to anxiety, depression, and the need for ultimate control in all situations.

And it wasn’t until a few weeks ago when I finally realized how much of my discomfort in life actually stemmed from my perfectionist tendencies rather than from life itself.

This post may contain affiliate links, and as a member of the Amazon affiliates program, this means we may receive a commission at no extra cost to you if you purchase through a link. Please see our full disclosure for further information.

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Perfectionist Tendencies

It’s ironic that perfectionism, the mechanism I adopted to shield myself from an uncertain world, became the very thing that closed me off entirely from the world. Perfectionism, rather than living life, took center stage.

And learning how to reverse the devastating effects of perfectionism has been a journey. It continues to be a journey. Choosing a different mindset requires awareness, discipline, and consistency. It also requires vulnerability and a willingness to fail.

Change is never easy. But I knew that the constant self-criticism and rigidly self-imposed boundaries were destroying my self-esteem and confidence. And my obscenely high standards were holding me back from countless new experiences.

Although I finally realized that my current form of perfectionism wasn’t serving me, I was hesitant to abandon ship altogether. A big part of me thought that giving up on perfectionism would mean giving up entirely on achievement. I felt that if I relaxed my rigid, all-or-nothing thinking even the teeniest bit, my world would collapse.

These thoughts are also ironic since they are the picture of black and white thinking characterized by perfectionism. Further proof of just how much perfectionism had permeated my life.

And so I began searching for help and eventually stumbled across an influential book called The Pursuit of Perfect, written by Tal Ben-Shahar.

The Pursuit of Perfect

“The key difference between the Perfectionist and the Optimalist is that the former essentially rejects reality while the latter accepts it.”

Tal Ben-Shahar, The Pursuit of Perfect

As I delved further and further into the topic of perfectionism, I began realizing that perfectionism has two sides. Having perfectionist tendencies can mean unrealistic standards and an inability to celebrate success. Perfectionist tendencies also involve a focus on the destination rather than the journey. But it can also mean persistence, a desire to learn, and strong problem-solving skills.

This new information challenged my previous belief that perfectionism, and life in general, had to be all-or-nothing in a negative way. It had never occurred to me that perfectionism could have a positive side.

And in his book, Ben-Shahar takes this idea a step further. He does this by introducing the concept of an Optimalist. An Optimalist is essentially the opposite of a perfectionist. Someone who falls in this category sets realistic standards for themselves. They embrace challenges and accept that failure is a normal part of life.

Although it sounds unbelievable, I had no idea setting realistic standards or accepting failure was an option. My perfectionist tendencies had taken such a hold over my life that it was impossible to see any other way to live.

And it was refreshing to hear that not only is failure ok, but it’s normal in life.

You may also enjoy reading ‘Become Unstoppable by Learning to Believe in Yourself.’

1. Accepting Failure Despite Perfectionist Tendencies

“Aversion to failure motivates us to take necessary precautions and to work harder to achieve success. By contrast, intense fear of failure often handicaps us, making us reject failure so vigorously that we cannot take the risks that are necessary for growth. This fear not only compromises our performance but jeopardizes our overall psychological well-being.”

Tal Ben-Shahar, The Pursuit of Perfect

At its core, perfectionism is about control. It’s a subconscious belief that you will obtain the desired outcome if you do things a certain way. And in many cases, it’s all about avoiding failure.

But the truth is that failure is a normal part of life. It’s completely unrealistic to think that one will go through life happy and successful 100% of the time.

There will be times of struggle and loss, no matter what you do. Focusing your energy on avoiding failure is exhausting and defeating. It also acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy in that if you constantly look for failure, you’ll find it.

And the irony of it all is that if you’re unable to accept failure, you’re equally unable to accept success. In many cases, failing to celebrate success occurs because you’re laser-focused on all the tiny errors inevitable in life. Success is often accompanied by mental chatter telling you that this or that could have gone better. There is no feeling of completion in a job well done.

The Myth of Easy

Equally devastating is the belief that if something doesn’t come easily to you right away, then it’s not “meant to be.” As someone with perfectionist tendencies, it can be tempting to give up when things get tough. Giving up seems preferable to making mistakes and possible failure.

But the truth is that NOTHING in life is easy. No one achieves instant success. There are no overnight millionaires.

Authentic achievement in life requires unyielding and repetitive persistence. It requires a commitment to failing because this is where you learn the most significant lessons.

Perfectionism is a lie that keeps you from accomplishment by telling you to avoid failure at all costs. But in reality, failure is the most direct path to success.

And although I’m not going to pretend that embracing failure as a perfectionist has been easy, it does bring a sense of release. Knowing that failure is typical and expected has allowed me to let go of some need to control. I’m starting to understand that life is messy, and there’s no sense in trying to fight that tidal wave.

Embracing failure has additionally improved my self-confidence by providing opportunities to troubleshoot unexpected situations. I can feel myself expanding outside my comfort zone with every challenge conquered. And I’m starting to realize just how much my perfectionist tendencies were holding me back.

You may also enjoy reading ‘What to Do When Your Emotional Energy is Drained.’

2. Good Enough

A second concept introduced in The Pursuit of Perfect, which has been life-changing to me, is that of “good enough.” This concept has been pivotal because it inspired me to challenge my perfectionist thoughts with a healthy dose of realism.

The “good enough” concept involves writing down your ideal standards and then following up with what is realistic given the constraints of life.

This concept helped me realize just how vague my expectations for myself had become.

For example, I would ideally love to practice piano for 2 hours a day, 7 days a week. But I work full-time, have 3 kids (4 if you count the family Goldendoodle), a house to maintain, and a host of other passions.

Before doing this exercise, I tended to feel guilty for missing daily practice sessions. But after taking the time to list out my subconscious expectations, I realized how genuinely unrealistic they were. I realized that I need to accept reality if I want to lead an abundant and passion-filled life.

And reality means that there will be days when I don’t play a note on the keyboard. But those are the days when I enjoy a long run or a dressage lesson. Or maybe those are the days when I cheer my kids on at the soccer park.

Again, perfectionism lies to you by telling you life is black and white. Everything must be achieved in each 24 hour period. There is no give and take.

But the truth is, you can have it all. You can work, spend time with your kids, and have hobbies. The only caveat is that you have to be realistic and accept “good enough” instead of “perfect.”

3. The Fallout of Comparison

“There can only be one Beatles. That doesn’t mean other people shouldn’t make music.”

Toni Bernhard

As a perfectionist, it’s easy to look around and make comparisons to other people. And thanks to social media, comparing is easier than ever.

At any given moment, you can click open an app and be flooded with 5,000 reasons to feel inferior. As someone with perfectionist tendencies, I’ve learned that social media is a massive trigger for negative thought patterns. And as a result, I’ve realized how much I need to limit its influence in my life.

Perfectionism is a tendency to set subconscious and often highly unrealistic standards for oneself. It can also be a focus on the end result instead of the journey itself. It’s then easy to see why scrolling through everyone else’s highlight reel can trigger negativity, procrastination, and anxiety.

And it’s easy to forget that for every success shared, there are 327 failures.

Social media, therefore, endorses the myth that everyone is happy all the time, there is no such thing as failure, and life is easy. It feeds right into the myths perfectionism is already feeding you.

Forge Your Path Despite Perfectionist Tendencies

But you can find your way out of the tangle of comparison. Awareness is the first step.

And the second is putting distance between yourself and social media. Delete the apps and start finding joy in your unique journey. Work on detaching from outcomes and instead fall in love with the process. Challenge negative thoughts by putting them through the “good enough” filter. Stop feeding into the lie that perfectionism is the reason for every success you’ve had in your life.

Unfortunately, perfectionism can also carry with it a higher risk of depression, anxiety, and suicide.

If you’re struggling with perfectionism, find help. Click here for resources on suicide prevention. Whether the support comes from your primary care provider or a mental health professional, you can find relief from fear of making mistakes and a preoccupation with control. Life is hard and comes with no easy answers. But you are valuable and deserve to live a fulfilling and passion-filled life surrounded by people you love.

Key Take-Aways

Reversing perfectionist tendencies is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight, and there will be some easier to overcome barriers than others. But with awareness, persistence, and the desire for a better way, you can challenge perfectionism. Here are a few key points to remember:

  • Perfectionism is a myth keeping you rooted in fear and negativity.
  • Failure is the most direct path to success.
  • Accepting and embracing failure pushes you lightyears from your comfort zone.
  • Challenge “perfect” with “good enough.”
  • Comparing yourself to others waters the seeds of perfectionism.
  • Find joy in the journey and detach yourself from the result.
  • You are valuable and deserve to live a fulfilling and passion-filled life surrounding by people you love.

Don’t forget to order your copy of The Pursuit of Perfect here. And until next time, keep learning, growing, and living a life you love!

How to Get Out of a Creative Funk

How to Get Out of a Creative Funk

You love putting new and exciting things out into the world. Whether it’s writing, painting, music, or crafts, you have a spark of creativity just itching to burst itself into flames.

Except lately, something has been holding you back. That spark has dimmed into a barely perceptible flicker of light threatening to extinguish itself at any moment.

Your passion for creating is still there somewhere, but it’s buried beneath layers of perfectionism, distraction, and the emotional drain which accompanies your busy life.

Unfortunately, you have passed into the “creative funk,” a place where ideas dry up and the music stops.

First of all, it’s essential to know that EVERYONE who has even one creative bone in their body goes through a creative funk sometimes. No one can be brilliant all the time!

But even knowing that getting into a slump is common doesn’t change the fact that you can feel cranky and frustrated when it does. After all, isn’t getting into the flow of your art one of the best feelings in the world!?

Although going through a slump is disheartening, there are steps you can take to find your inspiration once again. Let’s dive right in so you can start tackling that creative funk of yours!

This post may contain affiliate links, and as a member of the Amazon Affiliates program, this means we may receive a commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. Please see our full disclosure for further information.

Free Writing

Even if you’re not a writer, taking time to write down the thoughts surrounding your block can be exceedingly helpful. You don’t even need a fancy journal. All you need is paper, a pen, and a willingness to sit with your thoughts for a few minutes.

Don’t think too hard about your responses. Put pen to paper and write whatever comes to mind. Now is also a great time to bench your inner critic.

Start by asking yourself what you feel right now. Are your feelings, as a whole, positive or negative? Take some time to explore what may be contributing to your current emotional state.

Maybe you’ve been putting in too many hours at work. Or you’ve taken on too many tasks at home. Perhaps you haven’t taken the time you need to indeed rest and recharge.

Then ask yourself what you would rather be feeling. Think about how it feels when you’re at your creative best, and everything simply flows. Are there specific outside factors that help you get to that place of flow? Maybe it’s that one channel on Pandora. Or the corner table at Starbucks, iced cinnamon dolce latte in hand.

Is there a specific time of day when you feel most creative? And how can you arrange your schedule to accommodate creating at that time?

Finally, what inspires you? Is it spending time in nature? Or maybe it’s a chat with your bestie. Perhaps some of your best ideas find you during a long run.

Now it’s time to close the gap between the creative funk and your genius. Go back and read over what you wrote. Take a hard look at those hazy thoughts which once aimlessly bounced around in your head. Start making connections now that those thoughts are staring back at you in black in white on the page.

If you still feel cemented in the mundane, check out my next tip for shaking a creative funk.

Find Inspiration Wherever You Can

Although I tend to take comfort in habits and routines, sometimes they are an absolute buzzkill for your creativity!

New experiences, different ways to do the same old thing, and shaking it up are vital to keeping life fresh. And when life is fresh, creativity flows.

Maybe it’s even time to try a completely new art form. If you’re a writer, have you ever considered learning to play an instrument?

Or if music is your thing, have you ever considered taking one of those evening painting classes? Perhaps a stained glass art class is something that excites you.

Figure out what inspires you right now. Is it time to pick up that partially finished quilting project you started several years ago? Or maybe you need a trip to the craft store to spark some inspiration.

Creativity can come in so many different forms, and sometimes it takes stepping out of your monotonous routine to get those juices flowing again!

For more on getting into the flow, check out this inspiring post!

Seek out Support

If your creative funk persists, perhaps it’s time to consider help. Fortunately, support comes in a multitude of forms.

Maybe it’s time to find a teacher. There have been so many times in the past when my piano playing starts to get stale. I find myself playing the same pieces over and over. And I continue stumbling over the same techniques time after time.

But reaching out to a teacher has given me the exact inspiration I needed to master the technical aspects. And most importantly, it’s reignited my passion for playing.

Help can also come in the form of emotional support from friends. If your friends also have creative inclinations, chances are excellent that they’ve also encountered a creative funk or two. Talking about what you’re going through with someone else can be incredibly cathartic and may be precisely what you need to get your groove back.

And speaking of talking it out, never underestimate the power of therapy. Therapy can be beneficial if you find that the roots of your block run deeper than simply feeling uninspired. Fear of failure, perfectionism, low self-esteem, and other serious issues stunt your creative growth and impact diverse areas of your life. But a therapist can help you work through those issues, freeing your creativity and helping you embrace a more fearless life.

Pay Attention to Your Cycle

I’m a sucker for productivity and feel my best when maximizing my “to-do” list. On the flip side, I feel frustrated and overwhelmed on those days when my level of energy does not match the number of things I need to check off.

And deep down, I’ve always known that having fluctuations in energy is an entirely normal human experience. But it wasn’t until I discovered this book that I realized how to work with my biology.

In her book entitled Do Less, author Kate Northrup unpacks the key difference in productivity between men and women. She asserts that if women embrace the concept of life as a cycle instead of linear, they are in a better position to embrace energy fluctuations. And by embracing instead of fighting energy fluctuations, productivity improves.

Northrup presents a fresh take on productivity. It’s a take that throws guilt out the window and encourages you to reframe your thinking around productivity. She affirms that the path to happiness and peace is paved with “no’s” instead of “yes’s.”

And once you’ve ditched all those obligations, guilty thoughts, and unrealistic expectations, you’d be amazed at how much room is left over for creativity!

If you haven’t had the pleasure of reading Do Less, click the Amazon link below to revolutionize your life!

Change Up Your Environment

Although I’m not a student of the feng shui movement, I have become very aware that the environment plays a massive role in my creativity. If the space around me is messy and chaotic, my ability to create becomes stunted.

This post wouldn’t have been written if I hadn’t first taken the time to clear my space. Unfortunately, my “office” currently consists of a table in the living room. This table is often littered with toys, homework from the kids, and a litany of miscellaneous items without definite homes.

I attempted to write in this state of general chaos and disarray for several weeks but felt utterly unmotivated and uninspired. Until I took a few minutes to free myself from the clutter. At which time, the words once again began flowing as they do when I’m at my absolute best.

Sometimes overcoming a block means taking a hard look at your surroundings.

Do you ALWAYS work in the same spot at home? Try working on your patio instead. Or maybe, like me, you simply need to clean up your workspace.

Maybe you always sit in the same corner booth at Starbucks. Try checking out the Caribou down the street instead.

There are a million tiny ways to improve your surroundings to facilitate creativity. And if none of the above advice has reversed your creative funk, maybe it’s time to take a break!

Take a Break

Taking a break can be as simple as taking a nap or going for a walk. It could also mean getting out for a round of golf. Or maybe your inspiration will return after finishing that compelling novel you started last week.

Perhaps getting wrapped up in the newest blockbuster thriller will be enough to set you on the path to greatness again.

There are times when your brain needs to step away for a bit to process creativity subconsciously. And even if it seems as if your mind is fully absorbed in the activity, it’s still hashing out that blog post or navigating the technical challenges of the piece you’re perfecting.

The break could be 20 minutes, or maybe you even choose to step away for several days. You are not a machine and are therefore incapable of consistently churning out content without downtime. Embrace the breaks so you can more fully embrace your art!

Are you feeling emotionally drained? Check out this post for help.

Cut Yourself a Break

And speaking of breaks, don’t pressure yourself when you’re not feeling it! When your energy is lacking, cut down on your creative output instead of amping up the pressure on yourself. Try to get creative with your creativity. For example, can you re-purpose anything you’ve previously done if you simply don’t have the energy to create something new?

Or do you have a partially or almost fully completed project that you could put the finishing touches on so you can gain some momentum? Finishing a project can sometimes be enough to propel you away from that creative funk you’ve been battling.

Cutting yourself a break also means freeing yourself from your own judgment. Give yourself the freedom to create something terrible because you never know when it might turn into your greatest masterpiece. In many cases, we are the ones standing in our own way.

Waste Time

And speaking of productivity, if you’re even the tiniest bit of a perfectionist or a mom, it can be easy to get wrapped up in productivity. When your list is a mile long, it’s tempting to pack “productive” activities into every single minute.

For example, you may insist upon listening to podcasts during your commute. Or use the little spare time you have to read books about productivity, time management, and other highly “non-fun” topics.

But eliminating unfocused time from your day might be the very thing killing your creativity.

Your brain needs a lack of structure sometimes to weave together all that genius inside just waiting to be released. Consider this your invitation to waste time.

Yes, you heard me correctly. Go ahead. Watch a few episodes of your favorite telenovela. Laugh your way through the new Kevin Hart movie. Or simply enjoy a stroll through the neighborhood while listening to the playlist of your teenage years.

Just make sure to leave the guilt at home.

If you lack clarity, check out this post to find yourself again.

The 5-Minute Rule

If you’ve tried all of the above and are still hopelessly stuck, here’s the secret weapon for which you’ve been searching. This solution is guaranteed to banish the creative funk you’ve been wallowing in.

The first step is to figure out some type of reward. Maybe it’s an episode of your favorite show. Or perhaps it’s cheesecake from your favorite restaurant. Is it, perchance, a cinnamon dolce latte from Starbucks?

Whatever it is, choose something that feels celebratory to you.

The second step is to tell yourself that you will get the reward if you work for at least 5 minutes. Then set the timer.

Once 5 minutes is up, you can either continue working or move on to the reward. That’s it!

No matter how small, any progress is progress and should be celebrated as such. Reward yourself!

This technique is effective because it gets you out of your head. It forces you to put pen to paper, fingers to keys, brush to canvas, or any number of other creative endeavors. The 5-minute rule compels you to take action instead of lulling you into a false sense of action created by thinking.

And here’s a little-known secret about creativity. In most cases, work comes BEFORE inspiration. And I know we spent a ton of time talking about inspiration today. But the reality of it is that you’ll never feel inspired until you start creating.

You have to get out there, make mistakes, and create some genuinely terrible stuff before you have enough experience to be great. That’s how creativity works. No one gets to be amazing fresh out of the gate.

So don’t sweat it! Stop pressuring yourself. Have fun! Look for ways to fall in love with the journey instead of the destination. And if your interests change over the years, embrace the change. Create in whatever medium feels right to you at the moment.

The most important thing to remember is never to give up! The world needs your unique contribution.

It’s Your Turn

I hope this post inspired you to find new ways to overcome the proverbial creative funk. Take this opportunity to examine your life and figure out whether something more profound contributes to the block. Then work to resolve the issue.

And if there is nothing more profound, consider switching it up! Get out there and have some fun! Talk to new people, try a new hobby, or find a way to waste some time.

Do something that lights you up instead and feels exciting. And you never know where this one tiny step will lead.

Don’t forget to drop a comment below with your comments on this post. How do you overcome a creative funk?

7 Simple Tips for Adults Who Want to Learn Piano

7 Simple Tips for Adults Who Want to Learn Piano

Deep down, you have a secret desire to learn piano. Maybe you even took lessons as a kid but had an awful learning experience. You had one of those “old school” teachers who rapped you across the fingers with a ruler after every wrong note. Although you have always loved the instrument, a prodigy you were not, and the consistently negative feedback chipped away at your self-esteem. Perhaps your teacher even chain-smoked during your lesson.

And not only did you struggle with your teacher, but your parents were constantly harping on you to practice. Unfortunately, practicing turned into a chore instead of a delightful pastime, and eventually, you gave up the instrument entirely.

Or maybe you played saxophone in the school band, but it’s been years since you’ve picked it up. You’re now looking for an entirely new challenge and love the versatility playing piano provides.

Whatever your reasons for considering the instrument, congratulations! Learning to play the piano is one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences out there.

And there are incredible benefits to learning as an adult versus a child. One of the most compelling is that you have a choice in the entire process. You get to decide the musical genre, what you do with your newfound skills, and even how you want to learn piano.

As an adult, you’re entirely in control of the entire learning process.

Whether you’re just starting or are picking the instrument back up after a hiatus, these seven tips will inspire and motivate you to chase your piano goals! Let’s get started.

This post may contain affiliate links and as an Amazon Affiliate, this means we may receive a commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. Please see our full disclosure for further information.

1. Learn Piano by Finding a Teacher

As with many life skills, learning piano requires expert guidance. Depending upon your learning style, goals, and previous experience, this guidance will likely come from a teacher.

But it doesn’t necessarily have to come from one-on-one lessons. It could come from an online program, virtual lessons, an app, or even a combination of sources. The learning possibilities are endless!

For example, you could take lessons (either in person or virtually) and sign up for either a membership site or even access specific course material depending upon your playing goals. Alternately, you could sign up for a membership and supplement your learning with an app.

There are so many great learning combinations!

And the field of piano pedagogy (the art and science of teaching piano) has changed infinitely over the years. The chain-smoking, knuckle-rapping days of demanding perfection from students are gone. In its place is a genuine desire to instill a love of music in students. If you still don’t believe me, check out this list of incredible piano teachers currently accepting new students!

And speaking of finding a piano teacher, gone are the days of limiting yourself to teachers within driving distance. Technology allows you to study with virtually anyone in the world without even leaving the comfort of your home. It’s an incredible perk that makes it easier than ever to learn piano!

2. Embrace the Beginner’s Mindset

“In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s, there are few.”

Shunryu Suzuki

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess there’s at least one topic in which you’re an expert. Maybe you even consider yourself an expert in multiple topic areas.

And once you’ve become an expert, starting something new can feel intimidating. Being a beginner can be especially difficult if you’re someone who is even the tiniest bit of a perfectionist. There’s a certain amount of satisfaction that comes with being an expert. You’ve mastered a particular area and maybe even enjoy guiding others on their journey toward mastery.

But there’s also something magical that happens when you’re a beginner. As a beginner, you’re free to ask questions and make mistakes. Your mind is open to all possibilities, and you feel limitless.

It’s fascinating that you often put more limits on yourself as you become more experienced in something. Limitations that hold you back from your full potential.

Starting something new, such as learning piano, can inspire you to open your mind. And an open mind is always a beautiful quality!

3. Learn Piano by Practicing Daily

I’m sure you’ve heard that tired old saying about practice making perfect. To some extent, I do agree that it’s true. You’ll never get better at anything unless you put in the time.

I used to define practice as mindless repetition. And I used to think that if I could somehow repeat something over and over, it would magically perfect itself. I felt that if I repeated something enough times, the kinks would work themselves out. But nothing can be further from the truth.

Actual improvement at the keyboard requires your brain to engage in what you’re doing. Practice is an art form unto itself.

But it’s not something to be dreaded and despised. Practice is an opportunity to fall in love with the instrument. It’s a time to let your creativity shine! Find ways to make practice entertaining, whether by playing music you love or experimenting with something new.

I also used to think that the amount of time I spent on practice made a difference. Over time, this has again proven to be a myth. I practice less now than I did in my college days and feel like my playing has made more remarkable strides than it ever did back then.

My thoughts on practice have shifted over the years, and now I have two daily goals. The first is to play something every day. Even if I only have two minutes, I play something. The other is to relish the time I spend playing. Especially if you are a busy adult with work, kids, and a million daily obligations, make your goals simple and your practice enjoyable.

Make sure to check out this post for my secret practice weapon and an exclusive offer!

4. Listen to Great Pianists

When you learn piano, take advantage of the resources all around. YouTube, for example, has a plethora of free resources. Finding performances from all the great pianists is only a click away.

Research great performers in your chosen genre and listen to their recordings. What sets their performances apart from others? And can you identify anything specific that draws you to their performance versus other pianists? Most importantly, how can you mirror those qualities you love in your performances?

Although I love the piano in all its forms, classical is hands down my favorite genre. And over the years, I have started compiling my list of pianists I aspire to emulate.

These pianists inspire me to reach new heights in my playing and keep going, even when things get tough. If you’re looking for inspiration, check out any of the following pianists:

5. Take Advantage of Performance Opportunities

Music is all about musical expression, and learning how to convey emotions to others effectively is all part of the charm!

Whether you aspire to play on a massive stage in front of thousands of raving fans or simply want to serenade your dog on a Sunday afternoon, performance is an essential part of learning piano.

And depending upon how you decide to learn the instrument, performance opportunities are everywhere. If you are taking one-on-one lessons with a teacher, you automatically have the chance to perform regularly for your teacher. Many teachers do host regular recitals, which allow you an opportunity to perform live for an audience. Recitals are a fun opportunity to connect with other students and celebrate your learning milestones!

Many teachers also encourage students to take piano exams as it provides a guided way to learn piano. Exams typically consist of learning a piece to perform for judges and a written music theory component.

There are also supportive Facebook groups for piano enthusiasts, including Pianists and Piano Lovers, The Art of Playing the Piano, and Piano Performance Anxiety Practice Room. Each group has various opportunities for you to post piano videos to gain performance experience and obtain feedback from the group.

Churches also offer the opportunity to gain performance experience in a low-pressure setting. Whether that experience is as the keyboardist in the praise band or as the pre-service music, performance opportunities abound.

6. Join a Community

In your quest to learn piano, don’t go it alone. Pursuing a hobby is always more fun with other people! And thanks to Facebook, you can find groups for basically any imaginable hobby.

If your interest is specifically classical piano, make sure you check out the ProPractice course. The course itself was created by Dr. Josh Wright and includes video tutorials of a diverse range of the classical repertoire. From Bach to Beethoven to Chopin to Rachmaninoff, Dr. Wright covers the most popular pieces that most pianists want to learn at some point.

The ProPractice course also includes various technique videos and general tips on playing. It’s a fantastic resource for pianists of all levels and abilities! And not only does the course have resources that pair well with one-on-one lessons, but it also comes with access to an exclusive Facebook community. This community consists of pianists passionate about the piano and helping others on their piano journeys.

If classical piano is your goal, make sure you check out the ProPractice course here and take advantage of all the incredible benefits from the course. You can also read about my personal experience with the course here.

7. Learn Piano by Starting Today

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

Zig Ziglar

Perhaps one of the most crucial tips for adults who want to learn piano is to start today. Life is crazy busy! But it can be all too easy to get so wrapped up in your daily to-do list that you forget to truly live.

You forget to include those small things in your life which light you up inside and inspire you to new heights. And the piano is one of the best ways to challenge yourself while finding inner peace simultaneously. It’s a fantastic way to connect with your emotions while learning a completely different skillset. And it’s a skill set applicable in various other areas of life, including at work and home.

Whether you’re brand new to the instrument or whether you did learn piano at some previous point in your life, now is the time to start. And if you’re looking for an online teacher, don’t forget to check out this list of piano teachers accepting new students.

If you’re looking for an online arsenal of classical playing resources, make sure you consider Dr. Josh Wright’s ProPractice course. Finding similar resources from a pianist of his caliber is utterly impossible, and thanks to his course, my playing has improved significantly. Investing in the course is the next best thing to taking private lessons from Dr. Wright himself. 

It’s Your Turn

I genuinely hope this post has inspired you to learn piano! Although my piano journey has had its ups and downs, I am incredibly thankful for the knowledge I’ve gained. The piano is that one thing that gets me through the tough times and makes the good times that much sweeter.

There are so many valuable lessons to be learned from the instrument that I highly encourage everyone to give it a try. And if it’s not for you, that’s ok, but at least you gave it a try. It’s always better to have tried and figured out it’s not a fit rather than live your entire life wondering what could have been.

Leave a comment below with your thoughts after reading this post. Were you inspired to learn piano? Or are you currently learning piano and looking for a specific resource? And what are your favorite piano resources? Who are your favorite pianists?

Make sure to check out the following posts for more on playing the piano:

Until next time, stay healthy, stay safe, and keep chasing your dreams!

Become Unstoppable by Learning to Believe in Yourself

Become Unstoppable by Learning to Believe in Yourself

“You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.”

Deepak Chopra

What would you do with your life if you knew you couldn’t fail? Would you start the business of your dreams? Perhaps you would finally ask for that long-overdue raise. Maybe you would even take the first steps toward a brand new career.

Taking action on your dreams requires you to believe in yourself. But how many of us can honestly say we truly believe in ourselves? How many of us trust ourselves so profoundly that it no longer matters what anyone else thinks?

Thanks to many factors, we are in a crisis of self-doubt. And as a result, we are not living up to our full potential. We aren’t starting businesses, helping the people we could be helping, or stepping outside our comfort zones.

We’re playing small.

But by understanding where self-doubt comes from, you can start learning to believe in yourself again. You can boldly step into the life you were meant to live.

Let’s get started!

This post may contain affiliate links, and as a member of the Amazon Affiliates program, this means we may receive a commission at no extra cost to you if you purchase through a link. Please see our full disclosure for further information.

Why is learning to believe in yourself essential?

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”

Henry Ford

Self-doubt is a killer because it quietly lulls you into feeling inferior. Feelings of uncertainty turn up the volume on your inner critic. And distrust in yourself blocks any ability to celebrate your accomplishments.

The worst part is that you may not even recognize self-doubt for what it is. You may not recognize a failure to believe in yourself because it shows up as procrastination. It also appears as self-sabotage, imposter syndrome, or any number of other negative coping techniques.

Therefore, you may think you’re dealing with one problem, but a completely different one lurks beneath the surface.

And until you dive down to the root of the issue, absolutely nothing will change. You will continue struggling with indecision, uncertainty, and anxiety. It’s a vicious cycle fueled by forces both outside and within your control.

What is the origin of self-doubt?

Disbelief in oneself is a learned behavior. We are born with an innate sense of our value and ability to conquer challenges. But somewhere along the road of life, our self-confidence is shaken.

And one of the most obvious examples of intuitive self-confidence is learning to walk. Have you ever noticed a baby’s reaction to failure? Babies don’t know that failure is a possible outcome. They don’t make comparisons between their abilities and those of other babies.

When learning to walk, babies fail over and over and over again. And then they get back up and try again.

As babies, we believe so strongly in our capabilities that we can’t even consider alternate outcomes.

It’s only when our awareness increases that something inside shifts. Maybe it’s a limiting belief imposed on you by a parent. Or pressure from a friend to act a certain way. Perhaps you struggle with rejection from others.

Whatever it is, you stop believing in yourself.

And although doubting yourself is a devastating outcome, you already have everything you need to flip the script.

Believe in Yourself by Listening to Yourself

“Our intuition doesn’t always tell us why. Listen anyway, and you’ll find out later.”

Kate Northrup

One of the biggest reasons we stop believing in ourselves is that we stop listening. We start ignoring what our bodies are telling us and therefore lose connection to our intuition.

And in a world that values being busy, it’s all too easy to hush our quiet inner voice. In all its hustle and bustle, turning instead to the outside world’s raucous noise is straightforward and expected by society.

But blocking out all that noise is exactly what you need to believe in yourself. If you don’t start to ignore the buzzing all around, it’s impossible to hear, much less trust, yourself.

I recently read a life-changing book that tells you exactly how to welcome the quiet voice inside you. And until reading the book, I had no idea how little attention I was giving myself.

I also never realized the massive impact listening to my intuition could have on my outlook and life. It’s a truly transformative way to believe in yourself.

And if you’re looking for more tips on improving your emotional energy, make sure to check out this post.

One Day at a Time

“All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision.”

James Clear

A second reason we lose faith in ourselves is an accumulation of past failures. We set massive goals without any clear path toward success. Then we are bewildered by our inability to achieve the goal despite having no definite plans on how to move forward.

Not only do we fail to accomplish the goal, but we lose confidence in our ability to achieve goals in the future.

But the truth is that if you dissect your goals into tiny pieces, you are virtually guaranteed to accomplish them. This is especially true when you learn how to incorporate goals into your life seamlessly. And once you start achieving your goals, restoring trust in yourself becomes effortless.

Start small. Think about how you can be 1% better with every day that passes. And read this miraculous book on habit change.

If you’re curious to learn more about habits, check out this recent post.

Find Your Strengths

Learning to believe in yourself starts with knowing who you are and what makes you tick. Without a solid foundation of who you are, it’s difficult to find inner trust.

Discovering your strengths is one of the best ways to learn about yourself because it lays the groundwork. Seeking clarity on this one area of your life lays the foundation for every other area by giving you a place to jump off.

I have found that self-doubt pops up as I approach the unknown in my own life. It happens when I’m thinking about trying something new or expanding beyond my comfort zone.

But knowing areas where I excel gives me the confidence to embrace new opportunities. This knowledge encourages me to believe in myself even when I’m traversing the uncharted.

And if you’re looking for a way to uncover your strengths, check out this helpful guide.

Start a New Hobby

I’m a massive believer in the power of hobbies to bring joy and fulfillment into your life. Hobbies are a creative outlet and means of self-expression.

And as someone who has a wide range of interests, leisure activities provide the perfect means for exploration. However, until recently, I felt that maybe there was something wrong with me for never having discovered my “one” thing in life.

Guilt about my apparent inability to commit began clouding my life. I couldn’t understand why honing in on one thing was so difficult.

And then I discovered this mind-blowing book that transformed everything I thought I knew. It confirmed the value inherent to leisure activities, and suddenly, the cloud of self-doubt lifted.

Exploring your interests allows you to listen to your intuition and play to your strengths. Hobbies also provide an avenue to expand your social circle.

These are all powerful strategies to begin learning to believe in yourself.

Check out this post for more compelling reasons you should start a new hobby today!

Believe in Yourself Through Positive Self-Talk

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

Louise Hay

The way we talk to ourselves matters. Everyone has a running commentary in their head, comprised of conscious and unconscious thoughts. Unfortunately, we become so used to hearing that voice that sometimes we forget to make necessary adjustments for our good.

And before you know it, your harsh inner critic is dictating your entire internal dialogue. It’s no wonder why you lose faith in yourself when that happens.

Negative self-talk only fosters feelings of being inferior and a failure. This type of commentary brings you down emotionally and convinces you that you’re not worthy of trust.

But you are the creator of your thoughts and have the power to make positive change.

Learning to shift the conversation takes practice. It’s a daily awareness of your emotional state and the employment of specific tactics to switch it around.

Certain practices such as journaling, visualization, and surrounding yourself with positivity are potent steps toward a more positive thought life. Start prioritizing these types of self-care activities in the way you already prioritize physical care. I guarantee that you’ll be amazed at how much easier it becomes to believe in yourself!

And if you’re looking for another resource in positive thinking, check out this recent post.

The Importance of Self-Love

Love and trust go hand-in-hand. This is true of marriage and in life. If you don’t show yourself the same love and compassion that you show others, trusting yourself becomes a challenge.

Loving yourself means forgiveness when things go wrong. It means asking for help. And it means living according to your core values.

Struggling with self-belief sometimes means you’re not living up to your guiding principles. But by taking the time to uncover what matters most, you send a message to yourself that you matter!

And when you sincerely believe that you matter, trust soon follows.

If you’ve never done it before, I highly encourage you to think about which values matter most to you. And if you’re not sure where to start, check out this list of common core values.

Find Inspiration

There’s nothing like a little inspiration to restore trust and faith in yourself. Sometimes we are led to believe that we can permanently fix whatever is going on mentally by reading ONE book or listening to ONE podcast.

But mental fitness is similar to physical fitness in that it takes repetition to make lasting change. You must commit to a better thought life by daily practices such as meditation and journaling.

Tiny practices completed daily result in massive change, so don’t give up! The more you work to improve your inner life, the more you will begin to believe in yourself.

And if you’re looking for inspiration, make sure to check out one of these posts:

Or one of these phenomenal reads:

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It’s Your Turn

Learning to believe in yourself is a journey. It doesn’t happen overnight or even in a week, a month, or a year. It’s a habit that takes time.

It takes time because listening to that still, small voice inside feels incredibly counterintuitive. In this noisy, tumultuous world we live in, we are so used to hearing only the loudest voices. It takes practice to listen for the silence.

But it’s in the silence that you will find yourself. The slight twinge of inner tightening you sense when something doesn’t feel right. Or the massive lightness inside when you know you’re on the right path. Your path.

Even when the world screams rejection, it’s your inner knowing that pushes you through to greatness. It’s the belief in yourself that propels you to new heights.

I asked this question at the beginning but will ask it again. What would you do with your life if you knew you couldn’t fail?

I’m hopeful that this post inspired you to go after whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing. The world needs your unique contributions, so go out there and leave your mark!

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post in the comments below. Is there anything you’ve done to foster trust in yourself? And what have you been inspired to accomplish?

What to Do When Your Emotional Energy is Drained

What to Do When Your Emotional Energy is Drained

Do you ever have those times in your life when you feel overwhelmingly tired? When EVERYTHING feels impossibly tricky, and you have zero energy. Even getting through the day feels like a marathon of marathons.

Maybe you’ve even lost interest in doing things that once brought you great pleasure. Or you feel as if your work and home lives are crushing you beneath a gigantic mountain of obligation.

There are countless reasons you may be feeling fatigued. Maybe you’re not getting enough sleep at night. Your diet is a bit off-kilter. Or perhaps you are even having issues with your thyroid.

But what happens when you’ve ruled out all possible physical causes for feeling fatigued? What then?

I’ve been there before. I struggled to find answers about why I feel caught in a dense fog of weariness. And the search for answers led me on a journey of self-discovery toward a transformation in both mindset and energy.

This journey led me on a path toward doing less, being more present, and, most importantly, tapping into the power of emotional energy.

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What is emotional energy?

To understand emotional energy, we must first acknowledge our bodies as being comprised of equal parts, physical and psychological. Each impacts the other and therefore contributes different types of energy.

In the most basic sense of the term, emotional energy is the energy we obtain from our emotions. And there are experts, including author and psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum, who believe the emotional contribution is even larger than the physical one.

I think everyone has their concept of emotional energy, and we are conditioned to believe that we are at the mercy of our emotions. There’s also a belief that the experience of having feelings is deeply embedded in our brains at birth. And if this were true, it would mean that we have very little control over our emotions.

Believe me when I say that I was as shocked as anyone when I recently listened to a TED talk by Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett that challenged everything I thought I knew.

And what I learned is that your brain is constantly making predictions in an attempt to create meaning. Emotions are, in fact, neutral until you assign significance to them. And that significance comes from your brain’s ability to make predictions based upon past experiences.

In other words, your emotions are created entirely by you. And as such, you have far more control over your emotions than you thought.

Why is emotional energy significant?

Not only are our brains in charge of assigning meaning to emotions, but biologically speaking, our brains are designed to look for danger. A primary function of the brain is keeping the body safe and it accomplishes this by constantly searching for potential threats.

Left unchecked, our natural tendency to focus on the negative and construct worst-case scenarios can deplete emotional energy and leave us feeling completely and utterly drained.

I have to confess that I’ve spent much of my life avoiding strong and predominantly negative emotions. It’s almost as if I thought I could deny their entire existence and never have to face feelings such as embarrassment, shame, or sadness.

Unfortunately, this practice of ignoring a specific set of emotions led to an overall decreased awareness of all emotions. And in fact, failing to recognize the impact of emotional energy in my life is just as harmful as not treating high blood pressure or diabetes.

Our mental and emotional well-being is just as essential to our overall sense of wellness as our physical state. Unfortunately, there is a shocking lack of credible information out there about how to care for our emotional well-being.

It wasn’t until I stumbled across an incredibly thought-provoking TED talk by Dr. Guy Winch that I suddenly realized how little I knew about emotional energy and its impact on how one feels physically.

Armed with this new knowledge, I began piecing together a completely new outlook on emotional energy. And the new outlook is based upon the knowledge that what you think about is what you get.

The Mind-Body Connection

Remember all that stuff about physical and emotional components? As it turns out, emotions can trigger a physical response in the body.

Think back to a time when you were extremely nervous about something. It could be a test, a performance, or even a difficult conversation. How were you feeling physically?

In my experience, being nervous means my heart races, my palms get sweaty, and my hands shake. Maybe you have similar physical sensations when nerves start to rise.

Regardless of your exact sensations, apprehension is the easiest to begin connecting emotional energy to physical awareness. And once you make this connection, it becomes easier to tap into the more subtle emotions.

As a general rule, negative emotions typically result in physical sensations of contraction within the body. The sensation is very similar to the rock, which suddenly appears in the pit of your stomach with bad or unexpected news.

On the other hand, positive emotions often present as the sensation of expansion. Think about the light, airy feeling you get after completing a complex task you have been dreading for weeks.

Understanding how to interpret your emotions is crucial to conserving and enhancing your emotional energy because it’s tough to change something about which you’re clueless!

It also gives you the ability to manage emotion on a deeper level because we often feel emotions physically before our “thinking brain” has even had a chance to process the event. And the better we are at identifying emotions, the easier it becomes to manipulate our emotional energy.

How does your emotional energy get depleted?

Although the ultimate goal is to improve your emotional energy, it’s vital to first understand how it gets drained in the first place. One of the biggest culprits is chronic stress.

Chronic Stress

Life is stressful. But nothing drains your emotional energy faster than prolonged and unrelieved stress. The type of stress that comes from high-pressure jobs, intense schooling, or even the decision to have kids.

All three are scenarios where you often feel as if you have no control over your life. And without positive coping strategies, you may begin suppressing your emotions to get through the day without a breakdown.

Suppressing your emotions may be effective in the short-term, but it leads to emotional numbing and even depression over time. And it takes you further and further away from happiness and an overall sense of well-being.

Being Indecisive

Another huge drain on emotional energy is being indecisive. Indecisiveness zaps all your energy by causing you to continually go back and forth, mentally weighing out the pros and cons of a particular situation.

The pitfalls of indecisiveness are especially evident with big life decisions, but it can also happen with too many small, daily choices. It’s almost as if you have a set amount of emotional energy and instead of focusing it all in one area, you spend a little bit everywhere without anything to show for it at the end of the day.

No Boundaries

A lack of personal boundaries is a classic source of drained emotional energy. It’s similar to being indecisive in that your emotional energy gets spread too thin.

Even worse is the fact that you’re probably spending your energy in places that aren’t even that important to you. Energy is, unfortunately, a finite resource and requires careful consideration before spending it. And when you have no boundaries, your energy gets scattered here, there, and everywhere.

Perfectionism

Yet another source of drained emotional energy is perfectionism. Contrary to popular belief, perfectionism is more than high standards. Perfectionism is the belief that one can attain completely unattainable levels.

And what’s worse is the fact that more often than not, we often impose perfectionism upon ourselves. It’s an internal form of aggression that is particularly destructive because you can’t escape yourself. Nor can you ever feel satisfaction at a job well done because you’ll never reach the standards you set for yourself.

How Can You Improve Your Emotional Energy?

Now that you understand the significant contributors to a drain in your emotional energy, it’s time to move on to how you can plug those drains!

Identify the Source

One of the first things you can do to improve your emotional energy is to pay attention to your emotions. There can be many contributors to feeling down, but until you correctly identify the one(s) explicitly impacting you, it will be challenging to make positive changes.

I recently read this transformative book called Do Less by Kate Northrup that suggests you start listening to yourself. Pay attention to your body and how specific thoughts make you feel on a physical level.

We often spend so much time ignoring our emotions and physical sensations in the name of productivity that we lose that valuable connection. But if you start small such as with decisions about what to have for breakfast or how you should spend a couple of free hours this weekend, you’ll soon see huge returns on your overall well-being.

Reverse Chronic Stress

Once you incorporate listening to yourself again, you may realize that chronic stress is at the root of your emotional energy crisis. Although solving this type of issue can be a bit trickier, there are small steps you can take to start feeling more revived.

If the energy drain is your career, try to identify the specific situations causing distress. Spend some time digging into both the situation and your response to see whether it’s possible to transform your mindset and approach it from a more positive angle.

As a nurse practitioner who strictly sees patients in the nursing home setting, this past year has been incredibly stressful for me. After reflecting on my low energy state, I was finally able to recognize the full impact my career has had.

Switching careers isn’t exactly an option at this point, so I began searching for other answers. My search led me to a book called The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael Singer.

This book taught me how to let go of situations where I had no control and be present. These are both essential tools to begin dealing with significant stressors you may not necessarily have complete control over. I learned that sometimes acceptance is the best way to start feeling better.

And although acceptance is one option, choosing to leave a situation you can’t overcome is undoubtedly another valid one. Whether it’s a toxic work environment, a career you chose to appease someone else, or a relationship that simply isn’t working, walking away is sometimes the best option.

Find Your Tribe

Have you ever noticed that certain people energize you and others who completely drain you? It’s fascinating to think that, unlike physical energy, we can get emotional energy from the people around us.

And I’m sure you’ve heard that famous saying about how we are the average of the five people with whom we spend the most time. It’s so true and points to the importance of surrounding yourself with people who fill your cup rather than dump it.

Start paying attention to who you spend your time with and if they change your vibe for the negative, consider searching for a new tribe.

Resolve the Unresolved

Whether it’s perfectionism, indecision, or a lack of boundaries, start taking steps to resolve whatever is draining your emotional energy. Start taking measures to not only recognize what’s holding you back but to take action toward solving it.

In my own life, meditation and journaling have been incredibly beneficial in helping me step towards higher emotional energy states. Meditation teaches you how to stay present, especially if you tend to gravitate toward the past or the future.

Journaling helps bring up thoughts and feelings hiding deep inside but are draining your emotional energy. There’s something about putting pen to paper that releases negativity and truly enables you to resolve whatever is holding you back.

It also highlights the fact that we can’t out-think our brains. In other words, simply telling your mind to stop with the negativity and hamster wheel of worst-case scenarios is entirely ineffective. But learning how to connect the physical with the psychological is influential and critical to truly transforming your life and improving your emotional energy.

Other Resources to Improve Your Emotional Energy

Whether it’s a lack of energy or juggling too many projects at once, my passion is helping women overcome whatever is holding them back. I’ve encountered barriers in my own life but have also experienced the triumph of overcoming them and want to help others do the same.

Check out these posts for more motivation and inspiration to overcome that one thing threatening to hold you back!

And if you’re looking for even more tips to improve your emotional energy, here are a few of my favorites!

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I sincerely hope this post has inspired you to examine your life and work towards a higher emotional energy state by addressing the negative and channeling the positive. Remember that you are amazing and have a unique contribution to make in the world. But you need positive energy to make your impact!

Leave a comment below with your thoughts on emotional energy and what you think may be holding you back from a higher energy state.